Ceremony recap

I've been wanting to write this blog for a week now - partially I have been wanting the right time to write as well as a little time to process everything in my head. So here is the recap:

Preparation
A few days before the ceremony, we got together, poured a few glasses of wine, and read it out loud. Tessa made some very helpful change suggestions, and I was just fine with whatever she wanted to change as she was the one that had to read it anyway. I wanted her to be comfortable with what she had to say. (Also, I had stolen much of our ceremony from many other ones I found on the net, and certain thing were not relevant and others were not as cohesive as I had hoped). In the end not everything was read exactly as it was written, but that was part of what made our ceremony what it was. This was also the first time I heard Nathan read his poem out loud all the way through. He was so cute, he stood up in front of us and read it quite well. He did the whole looking up and making eye contact with his audience thing that you learn in school, and he had pretty good cadence. I was a proud mom.

Time
I knew that the ceremony was short. I was thinking it would be about ten minutes, but when we actually did it I think it was less than that and it felt like a blink of an eye. It went by so fast! I remember a moment where someone was reading (I think it might have been Michelle) and wanting to say to her "slow down!" I literally wanted her to speak in slow motion, everything was going by so fast. I am glad that Jill recorded it for us on her flip camera and that we have a bunch of pictures of it, because its already fading in my mind.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
We didn't have either of these. I knew from day one I didn't care to have any, it didn't seem a necessary part of a low key wedding, and they seemed like 'useless accessories' to me. I had my oldest son walk me in (after hiking up around our spot where all the audience sitting down could see us - kinda silly but I did still want an entrance of some sort even though we all drove there together). Then we also had other people hang onto the rings (see below) so really, why are they needed? Well, I did realize a purpose of having a bridesmaid during my ceremony. I had this bouquet of flowers (bought them at City Market and my sister in law Angie put them together with some green ribbon I had brought down) and had a few times where I didn't know what the hell to do with them. When I did my first reading, I held them still and then held the folder that had my part written in it, but then later on when I read my vows, exchanged rings, and kissed, I gave them to our officiant. Not really her job and I think it might have been a bit humorous that she was holding them, but that's what happened.

I cried my eyes out
I knew that I would cry at some point during the ceremony. On the way driving there a stuck a bunch of tissues in my dress to pull out later on, and certainly did just that. I figured that when I read my vows to Brandon, I would certainly cry. I cried while I was writing them, I cried while I was rehearsing them, I even cried while I was thinking about them. What I did not expect is to cry at the time that I did. I had written a part of the ceremony that talked about why we dragged everyone down a dirt road to the middle of no where to get married. I spent a lot of time revising and rewriting this part (oh the first version was so comical - it had to do with picking up rocks and cheesy 'rock' quotes - ha) but the final version of it I was pretty happy with. Originally I had planned on the officiant reading this part, but changed it to me reading it later on. I think it might be a bit odd to have the bride do a reading during the ceremony but it meant a lot to me to do it. So, as soon as I started reading, I burst into to tears. I had to stop reading, pull out my tissues, and made some sort of comment about how this was 'not the part where I was supposed to cry'. I then continued to blubber throughout the whole entire ceremony. Someone said to me later that perhaps I cried when I did because it was a relief to finally get to that point where we were actually doing it after all this planning, and that just might be right.

Vows
Brandon and I wrote vows using the format "I love you because..." and then a final vow that started "and because I love you..." which is where we made promises to each other. I totally stole this idea from ofafeather, but the one thing we did different was not letting each other see the vows until they were read out loud. To try and make sure they were cohesive in a sense, we had Tessa read them beforehand and she made a minor change suggestion. Brandon's vows were so sweet and awesome. I was so touched by them, and I guess even a bit surprised at how beautiful they were. I also remember thinking "damn, mine aren't as good as his".

Rings
Brandon had his cute nephew Gabe in charge of giving him my ring, and I had Tyler, my oldest son, in charge of Brandon's ring. As our officiant was reading a bit about exchanging rings and why the ring is worn on the third finger, they were to bring up the rings and hand them off. Tyler just sat on the back row and I stared at him, hoping he would get the idea. Finally he did, but that whole thing was kind of awkward and made even more awkward by the fact that I did not seem to have a clue what finger to give Brandon to put my ring on (which is silly since I had been already wearing it on that finger for 4 months prior) and also because I got extra flustered and did not know what finger to put HIS ring on. Not my most stellar moment. And then if that wasn't lame enough, I had totally spaced that we had to say something to each other (the whole 'with this ring I thee wed' part). Luckily, Brandon went first and then I tried to just copy what he had said and said it back to him.

That's not church tongue!
When we rehearsed a few days prior, Amanda reminded us that we needed to use 'church tongue' and I believe even defined what that entailed. I was fully prepared to stick to church tongue, because who wants to make out in front of their parents and a bunch of people anyway? Well, I guess I got a little overzealous (I am fully going to blame it on the anxiety leading up to it all, the crying, the awkwardness with the rings and vows, and the whole trying to figure out what to do with my flowers) and full on started making out. I didn't even really realize it until Amanda yelled "That's not church tongue!" haha. yeah, so I made a fool of myself.

Incidentals
I was worried the weather would be a bit chilly, but the sun was up and I think the audience might have gotten a little sweaty with the sun on their faces and all that. Honestly, the weather could not have been more awesome! I think one car drove by during the actual ceremony, but other than that we didn't have a lot of interruptions. We spent too much time afterwards standing on the road taking pictures, and several vehicles went past. Most everyone honked and cheered, and I waved like I had won some sort of contest. I felt silly but I also felt great.

So, this blog is entirely longer than the actual ceremony was. My own way of slowing down time I guess.

Almost Here

This past weekend Bonnie and I had our bachelor/bachelorette parties. Mine was on Friday and was spent in Wendover, and hers was on Saturday and was spent clubbing around SLC. As I have been telling people this I kept getting the same question: "When is the big day?" When I tell them that it is October 3rd, I keep getting the same response: "Wow, that is really close!" Yes, I say, that is very close.

I cannot believe how time has flown since Bonnie and I took the hike up to the Living Room above Salt Lake and after waiting for people to leave so we could be alone, I nervously asked the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world to marry me. All the planning and getting everything together and the disagreeing and agreeing and the deciding on whether or not we need chairs at the wedding and where are we going to get the photographer, all of that is drawing to a close as October 3rd gets closer and I get to marry my best friend and sweetheart.

I don't care if anybody reading this doesn't like the mushy stuff. Tough. It's my blog and I will put whatever I want in it. It's almost here!! I am so excited to finally take Bonnie's hand and tell her how much she means to me and how much having her in my life has made me a better person (sure she knows this already, but this will be different I think). As I am beginning to decide what I want in my vows, one thing keeps coming back to me and that is this: I am truly the most lucky and blessed person to have Bonnie in my life and I want everybody to know this. I would climb the highest mountain and yell it out if I could (okay, maybe a tad overboard ;) ). This I know, we are going to make one helluva couple, already do, and all of the work that has been put in thus far and continuing to October 3rd is worth it as I get to marry my best girl.

Another wedding project completed

Shortly after getting engaged, I had an idea of what I wanted to do for my guest sign-in book. I wanted it to be yearbook style, and had a certain vision of what stylistically it should look like. But then when I went to buy the stuff to make it, I realized what I was thinking about wouldn't really work. I've had it about 95% finished for a long time now, and finally stuck it all together and called it done just a few days ago. The cover is kind of plain and could use something else, but I suspect this close to the countdown this will be the final project. Inside the front cover is a welcome note asking for guests to write in the book. I have put a handful of pictures of us throughout the book, so it kind of doubles as a photo album of sorts. Any suggestions or thoughts would be great.

You are invited...

We are getting there! Got my invites done (Angie did an awesome job), had them printed off (thanks Heather for the help), picked up some envelopes and stamps (found some cool green ones but did not get enough of them) and BCH & I had an envelope addressing party.

No, sticking the word "party" on something doesn't really make it any more fun, but it actually went faster than I anticipated. Sure, we have a few others to wrap up, but the majority of our invites were picked up by our neighborhood mail carrier Keith yesterday.

Re-reading this, I realize how lucky I am to have so many helpful family members and friends (and many more that have offered to help more than once but I just don't have anything to delegate to them). I feel like a lucky gal to have so many awesome people in my life.

So, keep an eye out for our reception invitation, coming to a mailbox near you.



Just a sidenote: the rubber band ball was not used in the addressing of the envelopes, it just happened to be on the table when I took the picture.

Wedding planning check-in

You know, "they" say that you shouldn't co-habitate for too long before getting married. Some feel it is less of a commitment to live together unmarried. I don't agree with this statement, but I don't want to go into it because that is not really the point I am wanting to make. I think the thing that really solidifies a commitment is not the actual marriage ceremony, certificate, or the legality of it all; but instead is the process of planning a major project together. How else can two people discover what is important to them, how they handle stress, how they prioritize and how they accomplish goals than the planning of a wedding?

I have learned so much about myself, about Brandon, and about how we operate as a couple during this process. We've gotten annoyed at one another, disagreed, agreed, cried (well, just me), gotten excited and conceded varying aspects throughout the planning. And I suspect its going to get even more intense as the countdown continues. (Which is exactly 30 days from today - but whos counting?)

I would have to say that the wedding planning is actually not the hardest thing that we have been through in our relatively short time of coupledom, but it has definitely been quite the reaffirming process. It reminds me of the things I love about Brandon, the things I love about us, and the things I want to make even better. We seem to be able to balance each other out in a lot of ways I have never had in my life before. It excites me that if we can get through this (but of course we can!) then we can take on other challenges together in the future, and perhaps with even more ease and confidence than ever!

Freak out #1

Okay, freak out moment #1. Maybe it will be the only one, who knows? I have these lists running through my head all day, things that still need to be completed, followed up on, or even started on for the wedding. I think with today being September 1st, it makes me that much more aware that my wedding is right around the corner. Because in fact, it is!

ahhhhh!

How is it all going to get done in the next four weeks? What was I thinking, planning a wedding in four months time? I need a (cheap) photographer, oh wait, scratch that...I actually need two. I need to complete and mail out my invites (almost there - thank you Angie!). All these random little things - a slip, nice shoes for Nathan, I keep forgetting to call a reserve the damn chairs. Still gotta go and buy that glue gun so I can finish the cupcake holder. Ahhh, the cupcakes! Gotta order those. Brandons ring. Picking out the appetizers for the reception. I have empty wine bottles coming out my ears that need to be cleaned for the table decorations.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Trying to remember, its all about the love, right? Its about us and our commitment, right? The rest of it doesn't matter...But still, commitment tastes better with cupcakes.

The Registration

So last night Bonnie and I decided it was time to go and register for our wedding. We had debated on whether or not to do this because we have stuff, we aren't some 20 year old couple starting out for the first time, so really, what's the point right? Well after to speaking to some people and getting their advice, we decided, what the hell, why not, and went and registered.

We went to Bed, Bath and Beyond as this is supposed to be a really good place to go do such a thing according to our "registry coordinator" (we really do not have one of these, just somebody who wants to be ;)). Well let me tell you, BBB is ready for people like us. They have a little desk off to the side of the store where you sit down and filll out a sheet of paper with all of your vitals on it. They have an annoying girl helping you, laughing at everything you say and asking you how you met. A tad annoying, but whatever, we made it through. After doing all of this, they give you this awesome scanner and with this scanner you walk around the store and scan items that you want people to buy you. I really enjoyed this part. "Look a garlic press, we need that", SCANNED! "What's this, a rubber egg poaching thing? Why not?", SCANNED! My excitement lasted for about 40 minutes until we began looking at things I didn't care so much about. Sheets, towels, those little pillows that people put on their beds....you know, girly stuff ;). (Oh, I failed to mention that there were about 4 or 5 other couples doing this as well, all about 20-22 and going over every little thing. "What about this silverware" says woman. "I already have silverware" says man. "But what if it's not what I WANT" says woman. You get the idea.)

So after about an hour or so, we had finished and were feeling pretty good about ourselves. We went to the little wedding area and told the young woman that we had finished and she responds "Are you sure, you only have 44 items" To which we respond, "Uh, is there a minimum we were unaware of?" "Well, says young annoying wedding lady, "I just had a couple register for 408 items." What in the hell I thought. Who needs 408 items? What in the world did they sign up for? "What's this, the kitchen dept.? I'll take it!" How long were they there, half the day? Did they pack a lunch? I couldn't believe it. After assuring the young wedding lady that we actually own stuff and are not still in our parent's basements, she seemed to be okay with everything and let us go. So, we are now registered at Bed Bath and Beyond. Please feel free to visit the store and buy us all the stuff we have asked for!

Quaker Ceremony?

So I got all fired up and wrote out a ceremony outline about a month ago. I was really inspired by several couples that had written their whole ceremony from start to finish and knew we could do that too. Also, since we aren't having a religious leader or a judge marry us, I figured the better planned out it was, the better it would be for our officiant (who has never actually done this before and is most likely regretting the drunken offer she made to me one night).

Our outline includes several elements we thought important: a poem to be read by BCH's good friend Michelle, another poem of sorts to be read by my son Nathan (hopefully...); our own vows written by us for each other; a couple other cool things like explanation of why we are getting married in the middle of nowhere and why wedding rings are worn on the third finger. But I am having one of those moments and thinking about scrapping most of the script right now.

Why? Because I have become fascinated with the idea of having a Quaker wedding. Or having elements of it at least in mine. Has anyone been to a Quaker wedding? Essentially, the officiant is more of an MC (which I was already kinda heading that way with my script and trying to save her from having to talk too much), the bride and groom share vows and commitments with one another, and then basically it is opened up to the audience to share whatever they like. Seems most anything goes - from advice on marriage, stories about the couple, inspiration and encouraging words. I love the idea, but I am on the fence as to if this is the right thing for our ceremony. I am worried about not getting the audience participation that is needed for this format, and with only about 30 guests, it could be possible.

I need some feedback! Advice? Opinions? Experience?

cheap pants!

So as we progress closer to the big day, I am slowly getting my "groom outfit" together. Slowly, being the operative word. This past weekend, I had not a bought a single thing to wear for the wedding. Bonnie already had her dress, which is amazing looking, so I needed to get on it. I tend to procrastinate things. So as we were out and about looking at ribbon and fabric and cake stands at our local ribbon, fabric and cake stand stores what did my eyes behold?? Only the best damn store in the world if you want awesome stuff for low prices....Ross Dress for Less! I love that place. I have bought knives and pillows and spices and t-shirts there....it's the best thing about America! We made our way into Ross Dress for Less and I knew that I would find something great. I wandered over to the aisle where men's slacks are kept and BAM!, a beautiful pair of Brown slacks in just my size. I had been searching for brown pants (well on the internet at least) and hadn't found a thing. I knew Ross Dress for Less wouldn't let me down. I tried them on....fit perfectly! Now, here comes the best part. The pants, normally $80, were being sold for $20. Oh my! Ross Dress for Less once again comes through! The day turned out to be quite fruitful as we were able to get a lot accomplished for the wedding/reception (despite not finding a cake stand!), yay for cheap pants! Oh, and no, I normally am not this excited about pants....but these pants are not just normal pants, they are special pants because they are the ones that I will be wearing when I marry the best girl in the world!

This is The Place

We got a letter in the mail yesterday from the United States Department of the Interior, Bureau of Land Management. When I first saw the envelope I wondered "WTF?" then realized it was from the BLM office in Moab, Utah. Inside was this letter that I am quite excited to have. I know the picture is totally fuzzy and I in no way expect you to be able to read it (but go ahead and try if you must).

It is giving us permission to have our wedding on BLM land, at the location we chose, on the day and time we asked for. Also enclosed was a topo map showing the spot we are approved for. Its funny, when we first thought about getting married "in the middle of nowhere" we figured, hey since its the middle of nowhere, who is going to care, right? But BCH, with that little edge of anxiety he has that can work to his advantage, figured he should call the BLM and ask if there was anything we needed to do.

A couple phone calls followed by some emails, we now have Government approval to hold our ceremony in one of the most scenic places in the world (I might be a little biased, who knows?). And guess how much the rental fee is for our wedding location? Nothing (other than being a law abiding tax paying citizen my whole life - finally - I get something for free from the Government!)

I'm very excited about this, it makes me tempted to post some pictures of "the spot". But we decided to keep it a secret (not that anyone is really going to be crushed about or anything) until our wedding day so our guests will see it upon arrival instead of on the internet first. I can't wait!

"there is nothing more important than your wedding day..."

I was looking at a higher end photography site today. They specialize in Weddings and Family portraits. They have some very beautiful pictures on the site and it is obvious that they are complete professionals at what they do. I began to read the wedding section and it talks about how your Wedding photos are an Investment (yes, it needs to be capitalized) and goes on to say that "There is nothing more important than your wedding day." Nothing? Really? Wow.

Now don't get me wrong, I am very excited about my wedding day. It will be a very special day to me. We are putting a lot of planning and thought into it so that it will be a great day for both of us as well as our family and friends. But I am troubled with the statement that nothing is more important. I have had a lot of important days in my life - the birth of my sons, graduations, falling in love - and honestly I plan on having many more. I hope my wedding day does not remain the most important day of my life, because I plan on having a lot more of them!

This is where the Wedding Industry Complex works its psychological magic. You must believe that it is the single most important event that has ever occurred in your life (and will always be) so that you accept paying in the thousands for a photographer and more for a dress than you make in one month. So that you believe you have to have the coolest trend in favors to hand out to your guests or they wont enjoy themselves; you wont be quite happy enough if you dont have the right kind of flower or enough bridesmaids. You insist you need to have that little heart shaped silk pillow to tie your ring to so your cute little niece in her flouncy overpriced dress can carry it down the aisle for you. You not only get the "his" and "hers" champagne flutes for the dinner toast but splurge to have them engraved with the date and year of your wedding, because there is nothing more important than your wedding day.

I know I come off a little bitter, and yeah, I guess I am. But I'm not bitter towards the girls who choose to have all these things at their wedding; that is their choice. I am bitter at how consumerism drives the way we plan things in our life. Things that are important and special days can only be shown that they are just that by putting as much money as possible towards it. If you choose to get married in your backyard in a dress you ordered off the internet while serving food you purchased at Costco, does that mean your day will be less important or less special than the wedding at the reception center down the street?

I would like to think that my wedding day will be one of the important days of my life, but not because of what I spent on it. It will be that because of all the heart and soul we have been putting into planning it. It will be that because we will be able to share it with those who are closest to us. It will be that because it will be a reflection of who we are, and what is important to us. It will be that because it will be us.

Baldy Blogs

So this is the other half of Team Brannie. I have never written a blog before. Quite frankly I have never thought that I had anything to say that was important enough to put on a blog or the internet (I really only know about beer and Metal, the music, not the stuff that cars and buildings are made out of). But I thought what the hell and decided that I would write something on this. As we prepare for the wedding and reception and all that goes along with it, I am constantly reminded at how lucky I am to have met Bonnie and that life can be so random and present us with such neat experiences (that's for you sweetie!). The fact that we went to the same beerfest....in Idaho Falls no less (I know, its not like we met in Paris, but still that isn't around the corner either). That amongst all those people, we ran into each other (I think it was my rugged, manly, bald headed looks) and later that evening talked and got to know each other and then it grew and grew and grew until BAM, we are getting married! Pretty cool. Anyway, I didn't want to get all syrupy, just wanted to say that life sure can be funny sometimes...okay, not too bad for my first time (I don't want to promise more writings, but hey, you never know)

My wedding dress

I got my wedding dress yesterday!

It was this big debacle cause I tried to order it online through the store but they said it wasn't available ("what does that mean?" I say. "It means its not available" the catalog girl responds). I was bummed. So then I looked at many more dresses online, but I just kept going back to this one that "wasn't available". On a whim I placed an order for it online myself (that girl isn't needed me thinks), and it went through! They charged my card, it was to be shipped to the local store in three days, I was happy. One more thing off my list. Right?

The day before it was to be at the store, my MasterCard was refunded the price of the dress. I freaked. I called the catalog place and spoke with a very helpful man who told me the dress was thought to have been at one warehouse but when they went to pull it, no dress. So then supposedly it was coming from another, further location and would arrive the following week. Wasn't really holding my breath on that, so I was actually surprised when I got a message yesterday that my dress had arrived and was ready for pick up. Yay!

Ordering clothing online is always a bit risky and I was worried it wouldn't fit. I was toggling between two sizes and decided to get the smaller size cause, well, I'm a girl and girls like to hope they are smaller than they are. Also, another fabulous girl trick is to buy something a tad too small then use that as encouragement to lose weight to fit into it. (That trick never actually works for me, but maybe it does for someone...). I know you are dying to know: I was able to squeeze myself into it without looking too garish and still being able to breathe. Yes!

I know this is kind of a boring longish blog without any supporting pictures for those with ADD and way too many mundane details, so here is the summary:

---> I got my wedding dress
---> It fits me. Mostly
---> I stayed within my price goal (under 150-)
---> Yes, I will continue to write blogs that mainly talk about my upcoming wedding, so plan accordingly

Yet another blog site for me

So, I did have another blog but it seems every person I know that blogs is here, so I migrated. I have been itching to blog lately as I have been reading a lot of personal blogs about weddings and whatnot, so it makes me want to share my own personal planning-a-wedding experience. Thats one of the intentions of this blog. I also thought it was a good time start a "family" blog of sorts - with Brandon joining our little family I want us to be able to share that with everyone. Who knows, he may even want to write something. yeah...

Jill dubbed our celebrity mash-up name "Brannie". I think she was trying to tease us, but I kinda like it. Hence the title of this blog spot.

I have become one of those kind of girls...

So, I'm getting married. And in this whole wedding planning process, I have become this person that I didn't think I would ever be. I wanted it to be simple, I wanted it to be small, I wanted it to be easy. I realize now that there is nothing simple with a wedding. Nor is there easy. Small - its still possible and it will be quite small - with about 30 people at the ceremony and hopefully not over 100 at the reception week after.

I have realized lately that by 'simple', I really meant affordable. I don't have a lot of money and I don't want to depend on the folks for much. Its a second marriage for me and I am in my thirties; I feel that means its my wedding to plan and pay for, and I am okay with that. It gives me creative control that I have discovered I very much want.

It has also turned me into one of those women that carries around a folder with a bunch of stuff in it. I remember when my youngest brother got married and his future bride pulled out this HUGE binder with fabric swatches, announcement samples and the like in it. I thought she was a bit crazy at the time. Now, I totally get it.

You need to be organized for everything to go well. You need to plan EVERYTHING. We are planning things I never even thought about, like the exact wording my officiant is going to say, what my guest sign in book is going to look like (I even had a dream about it), and what wine we are going to drink at the reception (which has been fun to do because we have been sampling bottles).

With planning everything (and having much more of DIY wedding than I thought I would) there is a certain freedom about it. we have control over everything - and its empowering. This is our wedding, not our parents, not my kids', and I know that some people will think some of our choice are odd (such as dragging everyone down a dirt road to get married or having the reception at a brewery) but they are OUR choices. And that feels amazing!