So I got all fired up and wrote out a ceremony outline about a month ago. I was really inspired by several couples that had written their whole ceremony from start to finish and knew we could do that too. Also, since we aren't having a religious leader or a judge marry us, I figured the better planned out it was, the better it would be for our officiant (who has never actually done this before and is most likely regretting the drunken offer she made to me one night).
Our outline includes several elements we thought important: a poem to be read by BCH's good friend Michelle, another poem of sorts to be read by my son Nathan (hopefully...); our own vows written by us for each other; a couple other cool things like explanation of why we are getting married in the middle of nowhere and why wedding rings are worn on the third finger. But I am having one of those moments and thinking about scrapping most of the script right now.
Why? Because I have become fascinated with the idea of having a Quaker wedding. Or having elements of it at least in mine. Has anyone been to a Quaker wedding? Essentially, the officiant is more of an MC (which I was already kinda heading that way with my script and trying to save her from having to talk too much), the bride and groom share vows and commitments with one another, and then basically it is opened up to the audience to share whatever they like. Seems most anything goes - from advice on marriage, stories about the couple, inspiration and encouraging words. I love the idea, but I am on the fence as to if this is the right thing for our ceremony. I am worried about not getting the audience participation that is needed for this format, and with only about 30 guests, it could be possible.
I need some feedback! Advice? Opinions? Experience?
2 comments:
I know nothing about a quaker ceremony. Usually the comments and anecdotes take place at a luncheon (at least at most of the weddings I have attended). I love hearing about how the couple met, and why they fell in love, embarrassing stories etc. If you are not planning a luncheon, breakfast, or whatever, it might be fun to do it at the ceremony. You could write something about it in the program so that people could have some time to gather their thoughts. I say, it's your wedding and you should do it the way you like it!
In my (albeit limited) experience, people are not great at extemporaneous speaking. They either tell long, rambling stories about nothing or horrid ones you would prefer your grandparents did not hear. In the end, you should do what is going to make both of you happy but if you really want the audience to participate, it might be better to give people the heads up and let them plan in advance.
Also, that picture of you two is a-dor-a-ble.
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