"makes us happy"

It has been quite the dramatic day; actually the whole last week. We got back out there again and saw houses the very next day after cancelling our contract on the Kensington house. We saw a house we LOVED. So the next day we went out again, saw a few really really cool houses, and again saw the house we loved. This time, we brought my sister for another perspective and had both of our real estate agents with us. Christina admitted, after touring the house and deciding she also loved it, that she had come there with the agenda to talk us out of making an offer on it cause it had a shared driveway.

Our previous experience of rushing into it made us hesitant. So, we slept on it. And decided the next morning to make an offer. Offer submitted, with an expectation that they might counter offer. The next morning Christina tells us that they had gotten another offer and we were to bring back our 'biggest and best' offer. We talked a lot about what we were willing to do, and amended our offer.

Christina called this morning trying to track down our finance guys cell number so she could get a pre-qualification letter. This was a good sign and made us feel hopeful.

Then we don't hear anything. Finally BCH can stand it no longer and calls Christina. They have counter offered, and we needed to quickly sign it before they changed their mind, as there were now 'multiple offers' on the table.

It felt so dramatic, printing the offer off and signing it and faxing it to BCH. Then re-faxing it cause I did it wrong. Then faxing another time cause the fax machine missed a page. My heart was seriously racing. What if they got a much bigger offer before getting our agreement and decided to take it?

Finally, it was done. Everything signed, everyone in agreement. Under contract. I looked over the paperwork again that Christina had emailed to me, and saw the original fax cover page she had submitted to their agent. She had written, "My clients LOVE the house and hope this works out". Their agent had circled the word "LOVE" and had written below it: "Makes us happy".

This makes everyone happy :)

Disappointed

Remember when I said the home we were in the process of buying was built in the 1920's? You know when you buy a home that old, there is going to be some settling. And this home seemed to have a bit, but we were not overly concerned when we made our offer. Well, after our home inspection we have decided it has had a bit TOO much settling.

I keep going through the "shoulda"s in this process - but that isn't productive or helpful at all. I'm disappointed and discouraged; I was already tired of looking at houses when we made this offer (which I think was part of the reason I was so quick to agree to an offer) and having to look again is not encouraging to me. I need to get re-energized but I don't know how.

The other disappointment is that backing out of the contract might mean we are going to miss out on the $8,000 first time homeowners rebate. It requires you to be under contract on a house by April 30. While this is still very possible, we are not going to hold out hope on it. BCH and I also agree that we shouldn't just 'settle' on a house we don't love just to get the credit. The point of buying a house was not to get the credit, it was to buy a house. Which is what we still plan to do, its just going to take longer than we had hoped.

Jumping through the hoops...hope we don't trip!

We have been a bit hush about it on Facebook and around town (I think that both of us are a bit superstitious and dont want to jinx this - heard too many bad stories and already got one house rejection) so we aren't shouting on the rooftops about this, but we are very excited that we are currently under contract for a house. Closing date is set for April 29th, and the big hurdle this week is the home inspection, set for Wednesday. Found out today that our loan is approved (its amazing the difference between pre-approved and approved) but of course they have requested yet another round of paperwork and information from us. Sigh...

Its a 1920's Tudor, three bedroom and two bath. Its only a couple of blocks from where we currently reside, on a tidy street in the Sugarhood area that we already know and love. As our Realtor pointed out, its a good street because there are a lot of Subaru owners on the block. She cracks me up.

I am not thrilled about moving (AGAIN) so we haven't done a bit of packing yet, but I am excited that this will be the last move in a long time (as I am sure my siblings - ie: moving team - are thrilled about as well...)

The home has been updated, for the most part, so it is pretty move in ready. But of course we have already come up with a list of things we want to do immediately and in the near future. We also have the start of a needs list - things we have not owned but will need ASAP - like a garden hose of all things.

Do not fret, those of you who have asked. Despite searching and looking for one, we do not have a big porch (as seen from the picture) for infamous summer nights porch time, but it does have a nice backyard which we plan on putting a patio in. There is even a fire pit already installed, so I anticipate porch time can make a smooth transition to the new digs.

That is, if, and when, we finally jump through the last hoop and get those hot little keys in our hands.

Spring

Relationships come, relationships go. (Yes, I realize how flippant that sounds but it is not my intention.) Reasons for dissolution vary. And one thing I have noticed, which I cannot quite understand, is that sometimes the very reason one relationship flounders and goes under, is the same thing that reinforces another and causes it to thrive. I truly believe that we are of the latter.

I don't talk about it much (for various reasons, but one of the big ones being that I hate it when someone 'alludes' to a problem, but then won't respond to questions about the aforementioned issue. I suspect I am doing just that right now, so deal with it) but BCH and I have really been through quite a bit the last year and especially this last winter. Events that can (and have) destroyed the bond between two people have really caused us to buckle down and hold tight. I feel like we have had a sort of hibernation this winter - physically and mentally - and are just now starting to stick our feelers out into the world to see that basically life continues to go on. Nothing stopped for me while I was wallowing in my head. And that is the way it should be.

I feel so revived and hopeful with the spring weather we have been having. The little things fill my heart with joy, like the new red buds coming out of the ground where our Bleeding Heart was. I suspected the plant was dead, but it has surprised me. Spring has brought on this great sense of anticipation for us and for our future. I know that anticipation can be a blessing and curse, for anticipation does bring expectation which can result in disappointment, but I choose to not worry about that now. I do know though, whatever may happen in the coming weeks, we will be okay.

A hunting we will go!

We have actively begun looking for a house of our own to purchase. It will be small, it will be old, and it surely will still be in Sugarhood.

We went out with our realtor Christina on Friday and powered through about a dozen houses in 3 hours. I say 'about' cause honestly I lost track. It was actually a little overwhelming at the end, but we saw some great places, some decent places, and a place or two that I walked out of without even seeing the whole house. Christina is awesome; giving us newbie tips and questioning why we want certain attributes in our house (she asks one homeowner: "could you store beer in that basement?" ")

We realize we are not the 'fixer upper' type of folks, so that eliminates a few of the houses. I just cannot see the potential hidden behind mirrored walls, bad flooring and unfinished basements.

We came up with a top two list (separately we had decided on the same two houses!), and so now when I do something around the house I try to imagine myself doing it in either of those two houses (and wondering - where was the linen closet in that house? Was there enough kitchen cupboards?). I want to go back and spend more time in them, but I also want to see other houses.

We are feeling pretty confident that we can find a house that fits us and (almost more importantly) contract or close on it by April 30 so we can get the cash money the Gov wants to give us. Wish us luck!

"Hows Married life?"

I've gotten the question, "hows married life?" many times over the last five months (BCH reminded me the other day that yes, it has been five months). Its a fair question, I guess, but it sure gets old and I don't exactly know how to answer.

It kinda has a two part answer: One, it doesn't really feel any different than before. We still strive to make things the best they can be, enjoy spending as much time together as possible, and appreciate what we have. But then there is this other part; this 'future thinking' that comes with being married. Getting married propels you into your future (with your partner) and makes you plan ahead. That part has been fun too - Setting goals, figuring out what your priorities are together (which don't necessarily coincide). And when there are disappointments or things don't go the way you think they should, it has been invaluable to have a partner to rely on. It has been a Lifesaver to have BCH to rely on...its been a rough couple of months for me.

We had our first holidays together as a married couple - Thanksgiving with all the coordination it requires; Christmas (more coordination) and meshing different experiences and expectations together, and even Valentines day (which was fabulous). Our holidays and family events as this new family for sure looks much different than a Norman Rockwell painting, but it feels right because it is what we are.

I feel so lucky to have such an awesome life, and a wonderful partner to set those future goals with. We have a few things we hope (and have a plan for) to see in our near future, one of which is purchasing a house together. Again, this requires meshing of different ideas, experiences, needs and wants. Beginning this process has already had its own frustrations and set backs, but we just keep looking ahead.

So, next time you see me and ask "Hows married life?" you might get a snarky answer in response. But if you read this, then you know that secretly (well, maybe not so secretly...) I am loving being married and the changes it has brought to my life.

Ceremony recap

I've been wanting to write this blog for a week now - partially I have been wanting the right time to write as well as a little time to process everything in my head. So here is the recap:

Preparation
A few days before the ceremony, we got together, poured a few glasses of wine, and read it out loud. Tessa made some very helpful change suggestions, and I was just fine with whatever she wanted to change as she was the one that had to read it anyway. I wanted her to be comfortable with what she had to say. (Also, I had stolen much of our ceremony from many other ones I found on the net, and certain thing were not relevant and others were not as cohesive as I had hoped). In the end not everything was read exactly as it was written, but that was part of what made our ceremony what it was. This was also the first time I heard Nathan read his poem out loud all the way through. He was so cute, he stood up in front of us and read it quite well. He did the whole looking up and making eye contact with his audience thing that you learn in school, and he had pretty good cadence. I was a proud mom.

Time
I knew that the ceremony was short. I was thinking it would be about ten minutes, but when we actually did it I think it was less than that and it felt like a blink of an eye. It went by so fast! I remember a moment where someone was reading (I think it might have been Michelle) and wanting to say to her "slow down!" I literally wanted her to speak in slow motion, everything was going by so fast. I am glad that Jill recorded it for us on her flip camera and that we have a bunch of pictures of it, because its already fading in my mind.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
We didn't have either of these. I knew from day one I didn't care to have any, it didn't seem a necessary part of a low key wedding, and they seemed like 'useless accessories' to me. I had my oldest son walk me in (after hiking up around our spot where all the audience sitting down could see us - kinda silly but I did still want an entrance of some sort even though we all drove there together). Then we also had other people hang onto the rings (see below) so really, why are they needed? Well, I did realize a purpose of having a bridesmaid during my ceremony. I had this bouquet of flowers (bought them at City Market and my sister in law Angie put them together with some green ribbon I had brought down) and had a few times where I didn't know what the hell to do with them. When I did my first reading, I held them still and then held the folder that had my part written in it, but then later on when I read my vows, exchanged rings, and kissed, I gave them to our officiant. Not really her job and I think it might have been a bit humorous that she was holding them, but that's what happened.

I cried my eyes out
I knew that I would cry at some point during the ceremony. On the way driving there a stuck a bunch of tissues in my dress to pull out later on, and certainly did just that. I figured that when I read my vows to Brandon, I would certainly cry. I cried while I was writing them, I cried while I was rehearsing them, I even cried while I was thinking about them. What I did not expect is to cry at the time that I did. I had written a part of the ceremony that talked about why we dragged everyone down a dirt road to the middle of no where to get married. I spent a lot of time revising and rewriting this part (oh the first version was so comical - it had to do with picking up rocks and cheesy 'rock' quotes - ha) but the final version of it I was pretty happy with. Originally I had planned on the officiant reading this part, but changed it to me reading it later on. I think it might be a bit odd to have the bride do a reading during the ceremony but it meant a lot to me to do it. So, as soon as I started reading, I burst into to tears. I had to stop reading, pull out my tissues, and made some sort of comment about how this was 'not the part where I was supposed to cry'. I then continued to blubber throughout the whole entire ceremony. Someone said to me later that perhaps I cried when I did because it was a relief to finally get to that point where we were actually doing it after all this planning, and that just might be right.

Vows
Brandon and I wrote vows using the format "I love you because..." and then a final vow that started "and because I love you..." which is where we made promises to each other. I totally stole this idea from ofafeather, but the one thing we did different was not letting each other see the vows until they were read out loud. To try and make sure they were cohesive in a sense, we had Tessa read them beforehand and she made a minor change suggestion. Brandon's vows were so sweet and awesome. I was so touched by them, and I guess even a bit surprised at how beautiful they were. I also remember thinking "damn, mine aren't as good as his".

Rings
Brandon had his cute nephew Gabe in charge of giving him my ring, and I had Tyler, my oldest son, in charge of Brandon's ring. As our officiant was reading a bit about exchanging rings and why the ring is worn on the third finger, they were to bring up the rings and hand them off. Tyler just sat on the back row and I stared at him, hoping he would get the idea. Finally he did, but that whole thing was kind of awkward and made even more awkward by the fact that I did not seem to have a clue what finger to give Brandon to put my ring on (which is silly since I had been already wearing it on that finger for 4 months prior) and also because I got extra flustered and did not know what finger to put HIS ring on. Not my most stellar moment. And then if that wasn't lame enough, I had totally spaced that we had to say something to each other (the whole 'with this ring I thee wed' part). Luckily, Brandon went first and then I tried to just copy what he had said and said it back to him.

That's not church tongue!
When we rehearsed a few days prior, Amanda reminded us that we needed to use 'church tongue' and I believe even defined what that entailed. I was fully prepared to stick to church tongue, because who wants to make out in front of their parents and a bunch of people anyway? Well, I guess I got a little overzealous (I am fully going to blame it on the anxiety leading up to it all, the crying, the awkwardness with the rings and vows, and the whole trying to figure out what to do with my flowers) and full on started making out. I didn't even really realize it until Amanda yelled "That's not church tongue!" haha. yeah, so I made a fool of myself.

Incidentals
I was worried the weather would be a bit chilly, but the sun was up and I think the audience might have gotten a little sweaty with the sun on their faces and all that. Honestly, the weather could not have been more awesome! I think one car drove by during the actual ceremony, but other than that we didn't have a lot of interruptions. We spent too much time afterwards standing on the road taking pictures, and several vehicles went past. Most everyone honked and cheered, and I waved like I had won some sort of contest. I felt silly but I also felt great.

So, this blog is entirely longer than the actual ceremony was. My own way of slowing down time I guess.