Spring

Relationships come, relationships go. (Yes, I realize how flippant that sounds but it is not my intention.) Reasons for dissolution vary. And one thing I have noticed, which I cannot quite understand, is that sometimes the very reason one relationship flounders and goes under, is the same thing that reinforces another and causes it to thrive. I truly believe that we are of the latter.

I don't talk about it much (for various reasons, but one of the big ones being that I hate it when someone 'alludes' to a problem, but then won't respond to questions about the aforementioned issue. I suspect I am doing just that right now, so deal with it) but BCH and I have really been through quite a bit the last year and especially this last winter. Events that can (and have) destroyed the bond between two people have really caused us to buckle down and hold tight. I feel like we have had a sort of hibernation this winter - physically and mentally - and are just now starting to stick our feelers out into the world to see that basically life continues to go on. Nothing stopped for me while I was wallowing in my head. And that is the way it should be.

I feel so revived and hopeful with the spring weather we have been having. The little things fill my heart with joy, like the new red buds coming out of the ground where our Bleeding Heart was. I suspected the plant was dead, but it has surprised me. Spring has brought on this great sense of anticipation for us and for our future. I know that anticipation can be a blessing and curse, for anticipation does bring expectation which can result in disappointment, but I choose to not worry about that now. I do know though, whatever may happen in the coming weeks, we will be okay.

A hunting we will go!

We have actively begun looking for a house of our own to purchase. It will be small, it will be old, and it surely will still be in Sugarhood.

We went out with our realtor Christina on Friday and powered through about a dozen houses in 3 hours. I say 'about' cause honestly I lost track. It was actually a little overwhelming at the end, but we saw some great places, some decent places, and a place or two that I walked out of without even seeing the whole house. Christina is awesome; giving us newbie tips and questioning why we want certain attributes in our house (she asks one homeowner: "could you store beer in that basement?" ")

We realize we are not the 'fixer upper' type of folks, so that eliminates a few of the houses. I just cannot see the potential hidden behind mirrored walls, bad flooring and unfinished basements.

We came up with a top two list (separately we had decided on the same two houses!), and so now when I do something around the house I try to imagine myself doing it in either of those two houses (and wondering - where was the linen closet in that house? Was there enough kitchen cupboards?). I want to go back and spend more time in them, but I also want to see other houses.

We are feeling pretty confident that we can find a house that fits us and (almost more importantly) contract or close on it by April 30 so we can get the cash money the Gov wants to give us. Wish us luck!

"Hows Married life?"

I've gotten the question, "hows married life?" many times over the last five months (BCH reminded me the other day that yes, it has been five months). Its a fair question, I guess, but it sure gets old and I don't exactly know how to answer.

It kinda has a two part answer: One, it doesn't really feel any different than before. We still strive to make things the best they can be, enjoy spending as much time together as possible, and appreciate what we have. But then there is this other part; this 'future thinking' that comes with being married. Getting married propels you into your future (with your partner) and makes you plan ahead. That part has been fun too - Setting goals, figuring out what your priorities are together (which don't necessarily coincide). And when there are disappointments or things don't go the way you think they should, it has been invaluable to have a partner to rely on. It has been a Lifesaver to have BCH to rely on...its been a rough couple of months for me.

We had our first holidays together as a married couple - Thanksgiving with all the coordination it requires; Christmas (more coordination) and meshing different experiences and expectations together, and even Valentines day (which was fabulous). Our holidays and family events as this new family for sure looks much different than a Norman Rockwell painting, but it feels right because it is what we are.

I feel so lucky to have such an awesome life, and a wonderful partner to set those future goals with. We have a few things we hope (and have a plan for) to see in our near future, one of which is purchasing a house together. Again, this requires meshing of different ideas, experiences, needs and wants. Beginning this process has already had its own frustrations and set backs, but we just keep looking ahead.

So, next time you see me and ask "Hows married life?" you might get a snarky answer in response. But if you read this, then you know that secretly (well, maybe not so secretly...) I am loving being married and the changes it has brought to my life.