BRANNIE & boys

I am a different kind of mom

2011-09-22T11:30:00.001-06:00

I've thought about this subject a lot the last seven months. I'm a very different mom than I was when I had Tyler and Nathan, but that doesn't necessarily mean I am better. Just different. I do truly believe I was the best mom I could be and did the best job I knew how raising them. I think thats all you really can ask of any parent - considering what you know, who you are, and what resources you have. I was such a young mom! I knew nothing about being a parent (although I had many years of babysitting all kinds of kids under my belt), I had no friends that were parents, I had very little educational resources to turn to. I was a very traditional parent, and tried hard to 'follow the rules'. Following the rules meant I was a good parent. What my doctor said was gospel, any advice my mom gave me was truth, and the things I read in the few books I had was the way things should be. I couldn't imagine disagreeing with a doctor or thinking there was more than one way to raise a baby.

Again, I am not saying I am better now than I was then. I mean, look at my older boys! They are awesome. They grew up healthy, learned the things they needed to learn at the right times, and for the most part I think they had a happy childhood and a good life. I almost have a hard time taking much credit in their growing up and would deny I had much to do with it if I hadn't been there myself to witness it.

I am so different now. The world is so different as well. I am a parent of a baby again. A whole different parent it seems. There are so many ways to raise a child these days (and I assume there was also back then, I just didn't know it). I have access to more information on babies and child rearing than I ever could have imagined in my young adulthood. I only have to do some searching on the internet to find out everything I need to know on any subject I want. I can't imagine what it would have taken to find out all the different methods of feeding, sleeping, and raising a child back in the early 90's. I also could not fathom looking at other's opinions and wisdom as advice back then, instead of word. I have a whole different perspective on it all now. I sometimes think the 'me' then would be appalled at the 'me' now.

But here I am, the 'me' now. Raising another boy in this world. Ultimately, I am still worried about the same things I was worried about then. Will he be happy? Will he have a good life? Will I be able to give him everything he needs, and some of the things he wants? In that respect, I am still the same 18 year old mom I was. Still hoping I will be the best me that I know how to be.

Crawling

2011-09-20T11:21:00.000-06:00

Porter has been working on his crawl for a while now. We figured he would be a traditional crawler when he would get up in the crawl position and then get on his tippy toes, sticking his butt high in the air. It took him longer than I thought it would for him to start moving though; he would get up in the crawl position and just rock back and forth like he was starting his engine, but then finally the other day he figured out how to move his hands. He also just learned how to go from the crawling position back to sitting. Sorry this video is so lame. Every time I try to film him on my Flip he seems to know he is on camera and stops whatever it is that I'm trying to film. So instead I was able to get him on my phone which obviously does not have very good quality.

I have balls

2011-08-24T08:30:00.002-06:00

So as Porter approached 6 months of age (and has now passed it) I started to think about my thoughts of being a father for the first time. Sure, I have step father status, but that is different than this in a lot of ways. Porter has been such an awesome addition to our family. As he gets older, I am fascinated at how quickly he is changing, how much he is learning and how big he is getting. I spend more than one moment a week amazed that Porter is here and that we get to be his parents. The whole thing blows my mind.

Porter has really become quite the reaching and grabbing little kid. He rarely sits still. If you are holding him, he almost always will see something that he wants to hold and lean and pry his way in that general area, forgetting the fact that he does not know how to walk to get to the item. His crawling is slowly coming around, but at this point it is more of "lean, get up on my knees and push my face across the floor" kinda crawl. Not real efficient. He also sucks on everything. You really have to watch him, as he is an equal opportunity sucker, and will put your flip flop in his mouth if he can get to it.

Another thing that he has recently discovered that just kills me is he now realizes that there is something in between his legs and it is kind of squishy and he can reach and squeeze it. Every time he is getting changed, he immediately goes for his balls, grabs hold and starts wrenching. It makes me queasy. He seems to love it, while the whole time I am saying "soft hands Porter" (he has no idea what I am saying) in an effort to get him from tearing his nuts off his body!

Anyway, I had not written on this blog in quite sometime, so I thought I would just share a few thoughts of the changes Porter is making. He is a wonderful kid and we are really lucky to have him in our lives. Oh and he wanted me to say GO UTES!!!

Beautifying the Backyard

2011-08-02T10:14:00.000-06:00

Our home has such a nice yard...mostly. The side, which is almost always in the shade, has beautiful shade plants and ground coverings. The front yard is really pretty with a nice flower bed in the corner. But the back yard didn't have much going on other than a bunch of junky trees and shrubs along the fence line and a really sad old apricot tree in the middle of the yard.

One of the first things we did last summer was turn a random dirt hill (leftover from a driveway expansion I think) into a small flower bed. This year we edged it with rocks and the plants and grasses have just gone nuts. It is so pretty!

This spring we decided to take out the apricot tree. It only took one season of an overabundance of infested rotten fruit, bugs, dead branches almost falling on our cars, and sticky tree mist on our cars to decide it was time for it to go. The tree was very old and half dead, which made it pretty easy for BCH and a friend to chop it down in about 15 minutes. Then, there was the stump to deal with...

These are various bones and items found buried near the base of the tree.

After it was all dug out, then the challenge was to get the stump out of the ground.

Obviously it required more than the strength of two men...

So then our other friend, Geoff, showed up with his Jeep and tow rope, and a minute later the stump was out

Friends with equipment and knowledge are good friends to have!

BCH cleaned all the debris away from the back fence and edged this area with random bricks we found around our property. We bought some little bushes, flowers, and bark.

Now the back fence area looks a lot nicer. We have a ways to go with the back yard, including putting sod down where the tree used to be (which we will do this fall) and trying to figure out what to do with our ghetto back patio. If you have ever been over to our house at hung out on the patio with us, we have most likely asked your opinion on what we should do. Hopefully we will have something figured out next spring, and a little bit of cash to be able to do something with it!

Newborn pictures

2011-06-01T11:20:00.001-06:00

Porter has grown so much that he doesn't even look anything like these pictures. But the pictures are really nice and I still wanted to share them. They were taken by my sister in law, Angie McFarland, at Fotosynthesis Photography and Design. She was unable to use her studio, so they were taken with natural light and I think she did an awesome job! Check her out next time you are interested in a photographer.

Porter has no choice but to be a Ute fan. There could be worse things in life, for sure!

We hadn't planned on having Nathan in the pictures, but Angie suggested a couple with him and Porter while wearing his hoodie and they are some of my favorite!

Look at that hair! It has all fallen out since, but he had a lot more hair (and darker) than we thought he would.

mini pushups and rolling over

2011-05-29T17:39:00.004-06:00

Porter hit 15 weeks yesterday (thats about 3 1/2 months in the adult world). He hates being on his tummy so we haven't been that great at putting him on it. But today it just seemed to click - he was doing 'mini pushups' and startled himself by rolling over - thats one way to end tummy time!

Changes

2011-05-24T10:06:00.003-06:00

Okay, first off some pictures since blogger wouldn't let me put them at the end of the blog. Porter and I walked to 7-11 to get Gatorade for BCH while he was digging a stump out of our backyard. Too bad its only been nice and sunny here for about 10% of Porters life so far.
The lighting is bad on this one but I love it when Porter just sits on the couch content. Its funny to see him with his brothers because there is such a difference in age and size. Both Tyler and Nathan have been so cute with him and he seems to love interacting with them both.
Took this picture of Porter and I on one of my last days of maternity leave. He was sucking like mad on his hand, and has since started sucking on his thumb exclusively.

So, life continually changes for us, but they are positive changes. Porter is growing up amazingly fast! I went back to work after a 12 week maternity leave (which at times seemed very long and other times went by so fast). Now BCH is home with Porter on paternity leave. I am so glad that he works for a company that is so flexible and willing to let him have a full 12 weeks of leave. It has worked out pretty well, and Porter will have been home with either myself or his dad until he is almost six months old.

Being back at work has been hard to be away from Porter for so long, but its comforting to know he is with his dad (whom he ADORES so much). Its also a little easier to be at work knowing that it won't be forever, because my first day back I turned in my resignation! I am working 5 weeks, but then will be quitting my job (and State employment) June 9th. I wish I could be quitting to stay home with Porter, but I am going to a more flexible job where I can do some of my work at home and plan my schedule around BCH's a bit. This will prevent us from putting Porter in full time day care, which was the one thing we really didn't want to do.

This change is scary (I have worked for the State for 13 years!) but it is also exciting. I have been feeling for a while that its time to move on and learn something else, so I am really looking forward to that part of it. Also I feel really lucky that I had options and had several past coworkers that were interested in hiring me on. That is a really nice feeling in this economy.

Hospital pictures

2011-04-04T13:45:00.010-06:00

Blogger is not the best format for loading pictures. Maybe this is why I use Facebook more often for picture sharing. Anyway, here are some hospital pictures, not in the order I want them but I can't figure out how to move them around.

Tyler holding Porter (duh).

Nathan holding Porter. He looks way more uncomfortable than he really is. He is pretty cute with him actually.
Porter sleeping away. This is the second day in the hospital I believe, cause the dent in his forehead is mostly gone.

Porters first bath. We didn't take him to the nursery to bathe until that evening because we had so many visitors the first day. He loved it, and he still loves baths. He just moved his head around under the water while half asleep. So cute!

Porter and I. He got real busy scratching his face right away.

This should be the first picture. Its about 4 minutes after his birth. I am exhausted and I think BCH is super relieved its over. Porter is not so happy and is waiting for his cord to be cut so we could snuggle.

Being weighed. Again, not so happy but who would be after being forced to leave a comfy warm womb. They rounded his weight up to 8 pounds 6 ounces.

All bundled up just chilling in a rocking chair waiting to go to postpartum. I walked around right after delivery, one of the advantages of a natural birth.

I'll post some more pictures another time, its tiring and time consuming to put pictures on here!

Progress!

2011-04-04T13:05:00.003-06:00

Things feel more do-able around here now. We have a definite routine (although parts of it are not totally ideal, it does include Porter sleeping for 4 - 6 hours at night regularly) and life seems to have settled down. Things I am happy for right now include:

Porter has transitioned well to his crib. The cradle got old sooner than I thought it would, and he actually seems a little more comfortable in his crib anyway. He also naps well during the day in his crib (most of the time...). We are working on making his room more of a 'fun place' and not just a place he is banished to when it is time to sleep. This is kind of hard since it is sooo small - there isn't even room for a chair. But I've started practicing infant massage in there (he is not so sure about this) and read him some books as well.

"Breastfeeding" is going well. I put it in parentheses because I am actually not breastfeeding him, rather I am pumping and he is bottle feeding. This has been a really good change to make. Porter was a slow lazy eater and we would spend so much time nursing everyday (sometimes as much as 8 or 10 hours!) and still not get everything he needed. It was frustrating and I would regularly sit there and cry while I was nursing. It also makes it easy for BCH to feed him, and for me to be able to be away from him longer than if I was exclusively breastfeeding.

Porter seems happier. I never thought I would be so consumed with the mental status of a 7 week old, but he just seemed so frustrated and upset for most of his first weeks of life. We tease him, but it really is a tough life being a baby and adjusting to the world. He seems to have finally found his stride and we are so happy to see him enjoying things more.

We both get so much time to just hang out with Porter. I feel so lucky that this is the case for us. I still have 5 weeks left of maternity leave, and then BCH will be taking paternity leave and being his primary caretaker at that point. We spend most weekends and evenings just hanging out at home with him, loving him and interacting with him as much as possible. We have had some amazing moments that make the not so fun ones a bit fuzzy. Nathan seems to enjoy interacting with him more (even though he doesn't do 'tricks' yet, as he has requested) and I hope to see even more of that as Porter gets to know him better.

We got birth announcements done this weekend. This has been one of the little things that has been nagging me for a while. I have been anxious to share our cute boy with friends and family, and finally got some of his newborn pictures back so we could make announcements. Now I just need to address them and get them out!

Brandon. He is just awesome! He is the best parent (not that I had any doubts about this) and just loves spending time with Porter - even doing the not so fun things like diapers and meltdowns. He cleans the house more than I do, and has been so great during my not-so-happy moments. Somehow he functions on about the same amount of sleep as me (occasionally more but quite often less) and then goes to work everyday. It can be hard to stay home all day with Porter, but I honestly don't know if I could function everyday like Brandon does. He is amazing.

Six weeks and smiling!

2011-03-27T18:02:00.002-06:00

I've thought about blogging many times in the last few weeks but it just hasn't happened. Partly I think because I feel like I wouldn't be able to be very positive. It has been really hard being a new mom again, and I can speak for BCH that it has been quite an adjustment for him as well. Now this doesn't mean that we aren't happy about Porter being in our lives, because already I could not imagine life without him.

I've told a couple people lately that I didn't feel 'too old' to be pregnant, but there are times I feel too old to have an infant. It is really hard getting used to be being on someone elses schedule! I barely remember it from my other boys. BCH and I have spent many years being able to do what we want when we want to. We 'knew' there would be this adjustment, we talked about it frequently, yet actually going through it has been a challenge.

I feel like this week has been a turning point though. Its almost like a switch was flipped on. Porter has been so much more aware of things around him and of us. He recognizes us, responds to us, and has been smiling and making faces back at us. Its been such a reinforcement and makes play time with him so much more fun. I look forward to watching him learn and grow even more.

A blog about Tyler

2011-02-21T20:35:00.002-07:00

Not many people can say that they are a mom of a 9 day old AND a 20 1/2 year old, but I can. Although its not a 'traditional' situation, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Tyler is my 20 year old. Last summer I got a chance to get reacquainted with him, and BCH got a chance to get to know him better when he unexpectedly moved in with us. I know that living with your mom and step dad when you are an adult is not anyones favorite thing to do and eventually he will move out, but we have enjoyed having him around the house.

I'm proud of the guy that Tyler has become. He is still young and figuring it all out, but he "has a good head on his shoulders", as they say. Somehow (and perhaps despite mine and his dads parenting) he has turned into quite the guy.

Happy half birthday Tyler!

Porter is here!

2011-02-20T14:00:00.002-07:00

Its been eight days since his arrival, so I feel a little lame that I am just now writing a blog about it all, but honestly I haven't even thought about blogging until today. This little guy has been keeping us pretty busy.

Porter was born on his due date, after I woke up with mild contractions about 2 am. I won't go into all the details of my labor, but if you want to read a lengthy post about it let me know and I can direct you to one I've already written. As you may already know, I did have an unmedicated child birth. I've been called a lot of things (like a crazy woman) for doing so, but I have to say its one of the best experiences I have had in my life. Not that by any means it was easy or fun, but I am so glad we prepared and did things the way we did.

Porter was born February 12 at 10:32 am. He was 8 pounds 6 oz and 19 1/2 inches - my midwife had estimated him a little over 8 pounds but I was still surprised he weighed that much - he just doesn't look like it. He has way more hair than we thought he would (at my last ultrasound we were able to see a little hair coming off the nape of his neck) and is just beautiful. Of course I have to say that, but seriously, he is.

Porter left the hospital a bit jaundiced and it got worse the next day, so we had to get a bili-blanket, which is a fiber optic light you put on his back that helps pull the bilirubin out of his liver. We had a stressful few days, going to get blood draws everyday (his poor heels!) and trying to power feed to help flush out his system. He is looking a lot better now and we are done with the daily trips to the hospital.

I'll upload some more pictures later (most likely more than you care to see) but for now here is one.

If you haven't heard...

2011-01-28T10:40:00.000-07:00

We picked a name for our new little boy :)

Countdown time!

2011-01-28T10:12:00.002-07:00

Its been countdown time for a while now, which of course makes things go slower than normal. We are at 38 weeks now, so he is welcome to join us any time now. Especially now that he is where he is supposed to be!

Forever he was in a breech / transverse position. He loved hanging out up high in my belly, with his butt on the one side and his head on the other. We started getting really concerned about it around 35 weeks, because that meant decisions would need to be made in regards to his birth sometime after 37 weeks. So, I started spending time in an incline position - with my hips higher than my head to try and encourage him to swing that way. "Is it upside down time?" Tyler and Nathan would ask. They found the whole thing pretty amusing. I also went to a chiropractor several times - this one specialized in a technique that would adjust your hips, making it more optimal for baby to want to go down there.

Nothing seemed to be making a difference and at our appointment 36. 5 weeks, we decided to schedule a technique (called a Version) where the doctor manually turns the baby in hopes that he stays that way so we can avoid a c-section. I was pretty bummed out about the possibility of having a c-section instead of the birth we had been preparing for.

A day after we hit 37 weeks, we checked into Labor & Delivery to have the Version performed. I had been super anxious about it and not slept well. BCH was feeling horrible and had just been diagnosed with strep the night before. Lets just say we were not in good shape that morning.

Our midwife Lindsay came in and said the doctor would be coming shortly, but lets first ultrasound and see where he is. I just KNEW he was still transverse - he hadn't felt like he had shifted much to me. Shockingly though, she looked and found his head down by my pelvis. I couldn't believe it! I even said that to her, I could not believe what I was seeing on the screen. We joked about how he must have needed the threat of being physically moved to actually do it himself. What a stubborn little bugger!

He has stayed head down and we are hopeful that he won't move again. So now our focus has been on getting completely ready for him to come. When he was transverse I wasn't anxious for him to arrive because I knew it meant a c-section. Now, we are both really looking forward to it, and to hopefully having the birth that we want. I think it will still be a little while, but I anticipate he will be here before his 'due date' - if history counts for anything.

lil monkey update

2010-12-05T14:52:00.005-07:00

We had a follow up ultrasound about a week and a half ago, so I wanted to share some pictures. We were able to get some decent 3D shots as well as take a look all over and measure him to check his growth.

Look at that cute face! He was sleeping for most of our appointment, all curled up with hands and even feet up by his head. He did wake up and yawn for us, which was pretty cute. BCH's parents came to the appointment as well and his mom said that he "looks like Brandon". :)

In this profile shot he is touching his foot on his forehead! He literally was rolled up in a ball, which did make it a little hard to check out some of the essentials. She still managed to do the measurements needed and he averaged in the 75th percentile for size at 29 weeks along, and had an estimated weight of 3 pounds 10 ounces (with +/- 9 oz margin error)! Crazy - he is a total chunker already!!

He is moving like crazy, and the hiccups have started. At my last OB appointment on Friday, I was measuring about 32 weeks along even though I am currently 30 weeks. Hopefully he will either come a little early, or slow down in his growth. We dont need him to be a 10 pounder!

Name update: We dont have one yet, although we have a short list of names we like. And no, we really haven't picked a name and are just keeping a secret. I promise.

More pictures, more names

2010-09-21T12:25:00.000-06:00

This is another profile shot, similar to the one that I put on the last blog. My mom said "oh he looks like Nathan", which made me giggle.

Here is a 3D image we got at the ultrasound last week. Its looking down at baby Hanson; you can see his nose and his lips really well. He has his arms at the sides of his head so his elbows are poking out. He moved quite a bit during the ultrasound (I think he was pretty irritated by it all) once he woke up.

This is a view looking up at his privates - you can see his legs going out and his very definite boy parts in between. No mistaking it, for sure!

Cute shot of the bottom of his feet. Awww, precious!

Nathan is bound and determined to give this boy either his first or middle name. He has come up with quite a few suggestions. Some of my 'favorites' are: Sylvester, Quentin, Novak, Zephen, Sokka, Murray, Roger, and BeK (you spell it like that - capital B and capital K).

When we first got pregnant, we came up with a girl name we both loved without a lot of discussion. So it was a little sad to find out its a boy because we had not agreed on ANY boy names at all. We do now have a few we tentatively agree on, but nothing has been settled. Which is just fine, considering we are only half way there anyway.

Boy!

2010-09-13T11:40:00.000-06:00

Apparently I am just awesome with boys, cause I am having another one! I feel mixed about it, but mostly I am just really happy that everything went really well with the ultrasound. That was such a relief! He looks great, all his parts were there and he measured on track if even a little bigger.

We have no boy names at all at this point (other than oh-so-helpful suggestions from my sons like Hoover Dam Hanson, Stanley Steamer Hanson, and the new one: Peyton Manning Hanson) and a barrage of names from my helpful coworkers ;) . I'm sure we will come up with the one that seems perfect for little boy Hanson when its time.

6 days

2010-09-07T19:48:00.000-06:00

We had another doctor appointment today. Everything looks good - the babies heart rate was 150, and I was measuring maybe a little bigger than almost 18 weeks, but still within what would be considered normal for now.

I love going there and hearing the heartbeat, and I realize I find myself getting a little paranoid a few days before my appointment. I start thinking, what if there is no heartbeat? What if the flutters I have been feeling really are not the baby? Its paranoia, I know, but not completely unfounded. Although miscarriage is less common this far along, it happens. I can see why people get those home dopplers that you can rent or buy, although I could not justify for myself.

I was really hoping to have our anatomy / gender ultrasound this Friday. My midwife said no, that she does not want us to go until I am exactly 18 weeks - which is Saturday. I called and tried to schedule it for then, but they were full in the morning so I scheduled it for next Monday. I'm a little bummed out right now about having to wait six days, but in the long run it will not seem like a big deal (...I know this, but still its killing me). I am just DYING to find out if we are having a boy or a girl. I know what most people are rooting for, but at the same time I suspect its going to be the other.

I admire anyone that can wait for birth to find out the sex, but it will really help me with some planning and reduce some anxiety when we do find out. So far, the only thing we have bought is a crib. You cannot buy clothes without knowing the sex, there is very little that looks gender neutral. So, now I wait 6 days...

second trimester

2010-08-18T20:13:00.000-06:00

I've officially been in my second trimester for a couple weeks now. Other than being really tired today and yesterday (circumstantial, is my guess) I feel great. I still hate that my body is in this in-between stage; my pants are too tight (yay belly band and bigger size pants) and my shirts selection has gotten smaller. Since I finally told my boss about the pregnancy on Monday, I wore a maternity shirt to work today. It was comfy, but again makes me look bigger than I really am. I am fascinated by the fact that my waist and belly are changing, but my weight has not changed at all the last few weeks. I guess everything is getting re-allocated.

Our last doctor appointment went well. Heard the heartbeat again which is always exciting (and a relief). We should be able to find out the sex in about 4 weeks!

11 weeks!

2010-07-23T16:09:00.000-06:00

According to our ultrasound a few weeks ago, I am officially 11 weeks along today. I feel great. I haven't had any sickness for a few weeks now and feel pretty lucky that it only lasted about 2 weeks. But boy, those were a LONG two weeks!

I bought some maternity pants the other day because I was getting tired of wearing pants that were too tight (and I was doing this trick I learned where you use a hair tie to keep the snap closed, giving you a little extra room), so I figured it was time. I got three pair and they are super comfy, but still too big as the belly part doesn't really fit and I have to roll it down. So, I'm still in that 'in-between' stage I guess.

We have told a lot of people now. Its been so fun to share, and its nice to finally 'get it out there'. We have told all of our family (a lot of disbelief on the part of my family) many close friends, and Brandon told work people. I plan to put off telling work for at least another week, but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out. I am glad we made the decision to wait, but it has been kinda hard to do so and I am relieved to be at the stage where we can talk about it with others now.

we are having a baby

2010-06-29T21:16:00.000-06:00

Its going to be a bit before I publish this, since we are being pretty closed lipped about it, but I am pregnant! I was figuring we were close to 8 weeks, and had an ultrasound yesterday to confirm and reassure. The tech put us at 7 weeks 2 days, which seems about right really based on my high tech calculations I had done (but won't go into detail here about).

It was SO COOL to see the little flutter of heartbeat on our little blob on the screen. She pointed out which ovary it came from (the right) and everything seems to be growing well. She even did a 3-D picture for us, which is kinda silly cause its just a blob in 3-D and the regular picture actually looks better I think. I really can't wait to show the pictures with everyone, but right now we have just kept them to ourselves.

I have been so sick! Not throwing up ever (although I wish sometimes I did), just a really precarious stomach not unlike a next day hangover stomach (i'm sure there are those that can relate). I had about 1 1/2 weeks of feeling just horrible, not eating made me feel crappy, eating too much made me feel crappy, and eating anything was the same. Water made me feel sick. I usually drink a lot of it, so that was hard and also made me dehydrated. I started taking B6 pills and trying really hard to eat small meals and not drink with my food (SO hard for me!) and I have felt a bit better the last few days. I'm not sure if its the vitamins or what, but I am thankful that instead of constantly feeling nauseous I just feel it mildly a few times a day. Amanda says she heard on NPR that the sicker you are, the higher your babies' IQ. Uh huh.

I have been EXHAUSTED. I feel totally lame cause we just moved and there are still so many things to do around here and its all I can do to go to work and come home and stay awake until bedtime. BCH has certainly taken on a heavier load around here and I love him even more for it. I don't remember feeling like this with my other pregnancies; I am worried that my age is going to really make this a tough one if its killing me at this point. Hopefully I will get that second trimester surge of energy I have read about.

We have our first appointment with our midwife, Lindsay, in about two weeks and I hope at that point everything is on track. If so, I think we will start telling people then. I can't wait!

Our house - in pictures!

2010-06-13T18:07:00.000-06:00

I'm not so great at uploading pictures on this blog, but here you go. Please ignore the few random boxes that are in some of the pictures - still got more things to put away, but we have made some great progress so far. This is the master bedroom. It has a walk in closet, which is really an add on room, but it was too messy looking to take a picture of.
Upstairs half bath. It overlooks the back yard, and its nice to have a second bathroom for Nathan.
Nathan's bedroom upstairs. Its a decent size room, despite the slanty ceilings
Kitchen. You can't really tell from this picture but it has an old cast iron one piece sink / drawers. Its pretty retro cool. The cupboards are really old as well but they are in decent shape and have a nice charm to them.
Back yard. Kind of a ghetto cement patio. I plan to put in a garden off the back of the house (on the left side of the picture) but this year my tomatoes and peppers get to grow in pots.
Front view of the house. The yard and landscaping is really nice; a lot of great shade plants on the west side of the house and these bushes provide great privacy for our fabulous porch.
Porch. The previous owner rebuilt it using Trex board about five years ago. He also left us this nice bench. We look forward to many many hours of porch time here.
Our 100+ year old house comes equipped with a boiler and radiators. This terrified me when we initially looked at the house, but supposedly radiant heat is a better heat. Now we just need to figure out how to turn it on and control each radiator. Most of our radiators look like this one, which are original to the house, and are pretty cool looking.

Dining room. Almost every floor in the house is hardwood. The floor is a little wavy in this room (BCH says it undulates) but its not too bad and our inspector assured us it wasn't a structural problem. Our hardwood floors are REALLY creaky though (no sneaking around the house at night, thats for sure!)

Living room. The fireplace is not as bright red as it looks in this picture, its just the lighting. But it is red. I hated it initially. But its grown on me, and we found this really nice rug that mostly matches. I would like to paint it a slightly different shade of red. Also, that faux painted wall is going to be re-painted. Its pretty awful looking.
Another angle of the living room. It has a really nice window bay and a lot of light coming in all the windows. Our furniture looks pretty good in here. I love this room!

There you go - not pictures of everything (bathroom, walk in closet, 3rd bedroom, mud room and basement were not included). We have some more things to change, like painting, as well as installing a dishwasher in the kitchen and creating some more counter space. But so far we are loving it even more than we thought we would.

Settling In

2010-06-08T10:38:00.000-06:00

Our new house is finally feeling like ours. The closing / recording / possession did not go as we had hoped, and we ended up moving on Sunday of Memorial weekend. Luckily, we have some great family and friends that made it go quick and smooth (for a move, at least).

One cool thing is we keep getting checks in the mail. Interest reimbursement from the title company, car insurance overpaid, appraisal fee paid back for all our loan troubles, deposit on our rental place refunded, it just goes on! Its been awesome because we have been able to get some nice stuff like a new tv stand, an awesome rug and coffee table for the front room (the whole house is hardwood / tile so we need a lot of rugs), and a nightstand so far. We plan to install a dishwasher, build a cabinet around that, and buy a butcher block table for more counter space. And of course there are a lot of 'house' things we don't own yet and need; such as a ladder and yard tools.

A week of cleaning and unpacking and now I feel home. I LOVE this house. Everyone that comes over says they love it too. This house feels like US. I love that we own a 100+ year old home, with its high ceilings, boiler, creaky floors, and odd additions. I love that I have this with Brandon, and that we are making steps like this together. Building a home for my boys, and for our future.

three weeks

2010-05-02T13:40:00.001-06:00

We are set to close in three weeks.

If all goes well, moving in four weeks.

(side note: whats everyone doing Memorial weekend?...)

Super excited!

We love this house.

The inspection went well, and they agreed to fix a few of the minor things. BONUS.

went to IKEA yesterday and wrote a very long list of things we need, and things we want.

(Man, we have some crappy furniture that should have been put out in the pasture long ago.)

I've also been keeping an eye on KSL and Craigslist for a used portable dishwasher.

This will make Nathan very happy.

It will also make me happy cause my dishes will get chipped and broken a lot less.

We have a bit of painting to do, but not much.

I still want to paint the fireplace purple.

BCH does not like this idea, but its better than the fire engine red it currently sports.

It will look good with our green couches, I promise!

Did I already mention I love this house?

"makes us happy"

2010-04-19T20:38:00.000-06:00

It has been quite the dramatic day; actually the whole last week. We got back out there again and saw houses the very next day after cancelling our contract on the Kensington house. We saw a house we LOVED. So the next day we went out again, saw a few really really cool houses, and again saw the house we loved. This time, we brought my sister for another perspective and had both of our real estate agents with us. Christina admitted, after touring the house and deciding she also loved it, that she had come there with the agenda to talk us out of making an offer on it cause it had a shared driveway.

Our previous experience of rushing into it made us hesitant. So, we slept on it. And decided the next morning to make an offer. Offer submitted, with an expectation that they might counter offer. The next morning Christina tells us that they had gotten another offer and we were to bring back our 'biggest and best' offer. We talked a lot about what we were willing to do, and amended our offer.

Christina called this morning trying to track down our finance guys cell number so she could get a pre-qualification letter. This was a good sign and made us feel hopeful.

Then we don't hear anything. Finally BCH can stand it no longer and calls Christina. They have counter offered, and we needed to quickly sign it before they changed their mind, as there were now 'multiple offers' on the table.

It felt so dramatic, printing the offer off and signing it and faxing it to BCH. Then re-faxing it cause I did it wrong. Then faxing another time cause the fax machine missed a page. My heart was seriously racing. What if they got a much bigger offer before getting our agreement and decided to take it?

Finally, it was done. Everything signed, everyone in agreement. Under contract. I looked over the paperwork again that Christina had emailed to me, and saw the original fax cover page she had submitted to their agent. She had written, "My clients LOVE the house and hope this works out". Their agent had circled the word "LOVE" and had written below it: "Makes us happy".

This makes everyone happy :)

Disappointed

2010-04-14T14:08:00.000-06:00

Remember when I said the home we were in the process of buying was built in the 1920's? You know when you buy a home that old, there is going to be some settling. And this home seemed to have a bit, but we were not overly concerned when we made our offer. Well, after our home inspection we have decided it has had a bit TOO much settling.

I keep going through the "shoulda"s in this process - but that isn't productive or helpful at all. I'm disappointed and discouraged; I was already tired of looking at houses when we made this offer (which I think was part of the reason I was so quick to agree to an offer) and having to look again is not encouraging to me. I need to get re-energized but I don't know how.

The other disappointment is that backing out of the contract might mean we are going to miss out on the $8,000 first time homeowners rebate. It requires you to be under contract on a house by April 30. While this is still very possible, we are not going to hold out hope on it. BCH and I also agree that we shouldn't just 'settle' on a house we don't love just to get the credit. The point of buying a house was not to get the credit, it was to buy a house. Which is what we still plan to do, its just going to take longer than we had hoped.

Jumping through the hoops...hope we don't trip!

2010-04-12T19:03:00.000-06:00

We have been a bit hush about it on Facebook and around town (I think that both of us are a bit superstitious and dont want to jinx this - heard too many bad stories and already got one house rejection) so we aren't shouting on the rooftops about this, but we are very excited that we are currently under contract for a house. Closing date is set for April 29th, and the big hurdle this week is the home inspection, set for Wednesday. Found out today that our loan is approved (its amazing the difference between pre-approved and approved) but of course they have requested yet another round of paperwork and information from us. Sigh...

Its a 1920's Tudor, three bedroom and two bath. Its only a couple of blocks from where we currently reside, on a tidy street in the Sugarhood area that we already know and love. As our Realtor pointed out, its a good street because there are a lot of Subaru owners on the block. She cracks me up.

I am not thrilled about moving (AGAIN) so we haven't done a bit of packing yet, but I am excited that this will be the last move in a long time (as I am sure my siblings - ie: moving team - are thrilled about as well...)

The home has been updated, for the most part, so it is pretty move in ready. But of course we have already come up with a list of things we want to do immediately and in the near future. We also have the start of a needs list - things we have not owned but will need ASAP - like a garden hose of all things.

Do not fret, those of you who have asked. Despite searching and looking for one, we do not have a big porch (as seen from the picture) for infamous summer nights porch time, but it does have a nice backyard which we plan on putting a patio in. There is even a fire pit already installed, so I anticipate porch time can make a smooth transition to the new digs.

That is, if, and when, we finally jump through the last hoop and get those hot little keys in our hands.

Spring

2010-03-25T10:17:00.000-06:00

Relationships come, relationships go. (Yes, I realize how flippant that sounds but it is not my intention.) Reasons for dissolution vary. And one thing I have noticed, which I cannot quite understand, is that sometimes the very reason one relationship flounders and goes under, is the same thing that reinforces another and causes it to thrive. I truly believe that we are of the latter.

I don't talk about it much (for various reasons, but one of the big ones being that I hate it when someone 'alludes' to a problem, but then won't respond to questions about the aforementioned issue. I suspect I am doing just that right now, so deal with it) but BCH and I have really been through quite a bit the last year and especially this last winter. Events that can (and have) destroyed the bond between two people have really caused us to buckle down and hold tight. I feel like we have had a sort of hibernation this winter - physically and mentally - and are just now starting to stick our feelers out into the world to see that basically life continues to go on. Nothing stopped for me while I was wallowing in my head. And that is the way it should be.

I feel so revived and hopeful with the spring weather we have been having. The little things fill my heart with joy, like the new red buds coming out of the ground where our Bleeding Heart was. I suspected the plant was dead, but it has surprised me. Spring has brought on this great sense of anticipation for us and for our future. I know that anticipation can be a blessing and curse, for anticipation does bring expectation which can result in disappointment, but I choose to not worry about that now. I do know though, whatever may happen in the coming weeks, we will be okay.

A hunting we will go!

2010-03-14T22:36:00.000-06:00

We have actively begun looking for a house of our own to purchase. It will be small, it will be old, and it surely will still be in Sugarhood.

We went out with our realtor Christina on Friday and powered through about a dozen houses in 3 hours. I say 'about' cause honestly I lost track. It was actually a little overwhelming at the end, but we saw some great places, some decent places, and a place or two that I walked out of without even seeing the whole house. Christina is awesome; giving us newbie tips and questioning why we want certain attributes in our house (she asks one homeowner: "could you store beer in that basement?" ")

We realize we are not the 'fixer upper' type of folks, so that eliminates a few of the houses. I just cannot see the potential hidden behind mirrored walls, bad flooring and unfinished basements.

We came up with a top two list (separately we had decided on the same two houses!), and so now when I do something around the house I try to imagine myself doing it in either of those two houses (and wondering - where was the linen closet in that house? Was there enough kitchen cupboards?). I want to go back and spend more time in them, but I also want to see other houses.

We are feeling pretty confident that we can find a house that fits us and (almost more importantly) contract or close on it by April 30 so we can get the cash money the Gov wants to give us. Wish us luck!

"Hows Married life?"

2010-03-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

I've gotten the question, "hows married life?" many times over the last five months (BCH reminded me the other day that yes, it has been five months). Its a fair question, I guess, but it sure gets old and I don't exactly know how to answer.

It kinda has a two part answer: One, it doesn't really feel any different than before. We still strive to make things the best they can be, enjoy spending as much time together as possible, and appreciate what we have. But then there is this other part; this 'future thinking' that comes with being married. Getting married propels you into your future (with your partner) and makes you plan ahead. That part has been fun too - Setting goals, figuring out what your priorities are together (which don't necessarily coincide). And when there are disappointments or things don't go the way you think they should, it has been invaluable to have a partner to rely on. It has been a Lifesaver to have BCH to rely on...its been a rough couple of months for me.

We had our first holidays together as a married couple - Thanksgiving with all the coordination it requires; Christmas (more coordination) and meshing different experiences and expectations together, and even Valentines day (which was fabulous). Our holidays and family events as this new family for sure looks much different than a Norman Rockwell painting, but it feels right because it is what we are.

I feel so lucky to have such an awesome life, and a wonderful partner to set those future goals with. We have a few things we hope (and have a plan for) to see in our near future, one of which is purchasing a house together. Again, this requires meshing of different ideas, experiences, needs and wants. Beginning this process has already had its own frustrations and set backs, but we just keep looking ahead.

So, next time you see me and ask "Hows married life?" you might get a snarky answer in response. But if you read this, then you know that secretly (well, maybe not so secretly...) I am loving being married and the changes it has brought to my life.

Ceremony recap

2009-10-11T09:47:00.000-06:00

I've been wanting to write this blog for a week now - partially I have been wanting the right time to write as well as a little time to process everything in my head. So here is the recap:

Preparation
A few days before the ceremony, we got together, poured a few glasses of wine, and read it out loud. Tessa made some very helpful change suggestions, and I was just fine with whatever she wanted to change as she was the one that had to read it anyway. I wanted her to be comfortable with what she had to say. (Also, I had stolen much of our ceremony from many other ones I found on the net, and certain thing were not relevant and others were not as cohesive as I had hoped). In the end not everything was read exactly as it was written, but that was part of what made our ceremony what it was. This was also the first time I heard Nathan read his poem out loud all the way through. He was so cute, he stood up in front of us and read it quite well. He did the whole looking up and making eye contact with his audience thing that you learn in school, and he had pretty good cadence. I was a proud mom.

Time
I knew that the ceremony was short. I was thinking it would be about ten minutes, but when we actually did it I think it was less than that and it felt like a blink of an eye. It went by so fast! I remember a moment where someone was reading (I think it might have been Michelle) and wanting to say to her "slow down!" I literally wanted her to speak in slow motion, everything was going by so fast. I am glad that Jill recorded it for us on her flip camera and that we have a bunch of pictures of it, because its already fading in my mind.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
We didn't have either of these. I knew from day one I didn't care to have any, it didn't seem a necessary part of a low key wedding, and they seemed like 'useless accessories' to me. I had my oldest son walk me in (after hiking up around our spot where all the audience sitting down could see us - kinda silly but I did still want an entrance of some sort even though we all drove there together). Then we also had other people hang onto the rings (see below) so really, why are they needed? Well, I did realize a purpose of having a bridesmaid during my ceremony. I had this bouquet of flowers (bought them at City Market and my sister in law Angie put them together with some green ribbon I had brought down) and had a few times where I didn't know what the hell to do with them. When I did my first reading, I held them still and then held the folder that had my part written in it, but then later on when I read my vows, exchanged rings, and kissed, I gave them to our officiant. Not really her job and I think it might have been a bit humorous that she was holding them, but that's what happened.

I cried my eyes out
I knew that I would cry at some point during the ceremony. On the way driving there a stuck a bunch of tissues in my dress to pull out later on, and certainly did just that. I figured that when I read my vows to Brandon, I would certainly cry. I cried while I was writing them, I cried while I was rehearsing them, I even cried while I was thinking about them. What I did not expect is to cry at the time that I did. I had written a part of the ceremony that talked about why we dragged everyone down a dirt road to the middle of no where to get married. I spent a lot of time revising and rewriting this part (oh the first version was so comical - it had to do with picking up rocks and cheesy 'rock' quotes - ha) but the final version of it I was pretty happy with. Originally I had planned on the officiant reading this part, but changed it to me reading it later on. I think it might be a bit odd to have the bride do a reading during the ceremony but it meant a lot to me to do it. So, as soon as I started reading, I burst into to tears. I had to stop reading, pull out my tissues, and made some sort of comment about how this was 'not the part where I was supposed to cry'. I then continued to blubber throughout the whole entire ceremony. Someone said to me later that perhaps I cried when I did because it was a relief to finally get to that point where we were actually doing it after all this planning, and that just might be right.

Vows
Brandon and I wrote vows using the format "I love you because..." and then a final vow that started "and because I love you..." which is where we made promises to each other. I totally stole this idea from ofafeather, but the one thing we did different was not letting each other see the vows until they were read out loud. To try and make sure they were cohesive in a sense, we had Tessa read them beforehand and she made a minor change suggestion. Brandon's vows were so sweet and awesome. I was so touched by them, and I guess even a bit surprised at how beautiful they were. I also remember thinking "damn, mine aren't as good as his".

Rings
Brandon had his cute nephew Gabe in charge of giving him my ring, and I had Tyler, my oldest son, in charge of Brandon's ring. As our officiant was reading a bit about exchanging rings and why the ring is worn on the third finger, they were to bring up the rings and hand them off. Tyler just sat on the back row and I stared at him, hoping he would get the idea. Finally he did, but that whole thing was kind of awkward and made even more awkward by the fact that I did not seem to have a clue what finger to give Brandon to put my ring on (which is silly since I had been already wearing it on that finger for 4 months prior) and also because I got extra flustered and did not know what finger to put HIS ring on. Not my most stellar moment. And then if that wasn't lame enough, I had totally spaced that we had to say something to each other (the whole 'with this ring I thee wed' part). Luckily, Brandon went first and then I tried to just copy what he had said and said it back to him.

That's not church tongue!
When we rehearsed a few days prior, Amanda reminded us that we needed to use 'church tongue' and I believe even defined what that entailed. I was fully prepared to stick to church tongue, because who wants to make out in front of their parents and a bunch of people anyway? Well, I guess I got a little overzealous (I am fully going to blame it on the anxiety leading up to it all, the crying, the awkwardness with the rings and vows, and the whole trying to figure out what to do with my flowers) and full on started making out. I didn't even really realize it until Amanda yelled "That's not church tongue!" haha. yeah, so I made a fool of myself.

Incidentals
I was worried the weather would be a bit chilly, but the sun was up and I think the audience might have gotten a little sweaty with the sun on their faces and all that. Honestly, the weather could not have been more awesome! I think one car drove by during the actual ceremony, but other than that we didn't have a lot of interruptions. We spent too much time afterwards standing on the road taking pictures, and several vehicles went past. Most everyone honked and cheered, and I waved like I had won some sort of contest. I felt silly but I also felt great.

So, this blog is entirely longer than the actual ceremony was. My own way of slowing down time I guess.

Almost Here

2009-09-21T17:42:00.000-06:00

This past weekend Bonnie and I had our bachelor/bachelorette parties. Mine was on Friday and was spent in Wendover, and hers was on Saturday and was spent clubbing around SLC. As I have been telling people this I kept getting the same question: "When is the big day?" When I tell them that it is October 3rd, I keep getting the same response: "Wow, that is really close!" Yes, I say, that is very close.

I cannot believe how time has flown since Bonnie and I took the hike up to the Living Room above Salt Lake and after waiting for people to leave so we could be alone, I nervously asked the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world to marry me. All the planning and getting everything together and the disagreeing and agreeing and the deciding on whether or not we need chairs at the wedding and where are we going to get the photographer, all of that is drawing to a close as October 3rd gets closer and I get to marry my best friend and sweetheart.

I don't care if anybody reading this doesn't like the mushy stuff. Tough. It's my blog and I will put whatever I want in it. It's almost here!! I am so excited to finally take Bonnie's hand and tell her how much she means to me and how much having her in my life has made me a better person (sure she knows this already, but this will be different I think). As I am beginning to decide what I want in my vows, one thing keeps coming back to me and that is this: I am truly the most lucky and blessed person to have Bonnie in my life and I want everybody to know this. I would climb the highest mountain and yell it out if I could (okay, maybe a tad overboard ;) ). This I know, we are going to make one helluva couple, already do, and all of the work that has been put in thus far and continuing to October 3rd is worth it as I get to marry my best girl.

Another wedding project completed

2009-09-20T21:16:00.000-06:00

Shortly after getting engaged, I had an idea of what I wanted to do for my guest sign-in book. I wanted it to be yearbook style, and had a certain vision of what stylistically it should look like. But then when I went to buy the stuff to make it, I realized what I was thinking about wouldn't really work. I've had it about 95% finished for a long time now, and finally stuck it all together and called it done just a few days ago. The cover is kind of plain and could use something else, but I suspect this close to the countdown this will be the final project. Inside the front cover is a welcome note asking for guests to write in the book. I have put a handful of pictures of us throughout the book, so it kind of doubles as a photo album of sorts. Any suggestions or thoughts would be great.

You are invited...

2009-09-13T19:15:00.000-06:00

We are getting there! Got my invites done (Angie did an awesome job), had them printed off (thanks Heather for the help), picked up some envelopes and stamps (found some cool green ones but did not get enough of them) and BCH & I had an envelope addressing party.

No, sticking the word "party" on something doesn't really make it any more fun, but it actually went faster than I anticipated. Sure, we have a few others to wrap up, but the majority of our invites were picked up by our neighborhood mail carrier Keith yesterday.

Re-reading this, I realize how lucky I am to have so many helpful family members and friends (and many more that have offered to help more than once but I just don't have anything to delegate to them). I feel like a lucky gal to have so many awesome people in my life.

So, keep an eye out for our reception invitation, coming to a mailbox near you.

Just a sidenote: the rubber band ball was not used in the addressing of the envelopes, it just happened to be on the table when I took the picture.

Wedding planning check-in

2009-09-03T13:03:00.000-06:00

You know, "they" say that you shouldn't co-habitate for too long before getting married. Some feel it is less of a commitment to live together unmarried. I don't agree with this statement, but I don't want to go into it because that is not really the point I am wanting to make. I think the thing that really solidifies a commitment is not the actual marriage ceremony, certificate, or the legality of it all; but instead is the process of planning a major project together. How else can two people discover what is important to them, how they handle stress, how they prioritize and how they accomplish goals than the planning of a wedding?

I have learned so much about myself, about Brandon, and about how we operate as a couple during this process. We've gotten annoyed at one another, disagreed, agreed, cried (well, just me), gotten excited and conceded varying aspects throughout the planning. And I suspect its going to get even more intense as the countdown continues. (Which is exactly 30 days from today - but whos counting?)

I would have to say that the wedding planning is actually not the hardest thing that we have been through in our relatively short time of coupledom, but it has definitely been quite the reaffirming process. It reminds me of the things I love about Brandon, the things I love about us, and the things I want to make even better. We seem to be able to balance each other out in a lot of ways I have never had in my life before. It excites me that if we can get through this (but of course we can!) then we can take on other challenges together in the future, and perhaps with even more ease and confidence than ever!

Freak out #1

2009-09-01T21:46:00.000-06:00

Okay, freak out moment #1. Maybe it will be the only one, who knows? I have these lists running through my head all day, things that still need to be completed, followed up on, or even started on for the wedding. I think with today being September 1st, it makes me that much more aware that my wedding is right around the corner. Because in fact, it is!

ahhhhh!

How is it all going to get done in the next four weeks? What was I thinking, planning a wedding in four months time? I need a (cheap) photographer, oh wait, scratch that...I actually need two. I need to complete and mail out my invites (almost there - thank you Angie!). All these random little things - a slip, nice shoes for Nathan, I keep forgetting to call a reserve the damn chairs. Still gotta go and buy that glue gun so I can finish the cupcake holder. Ahhh, the cupcakes! Gotta order those. Brandons ring. Picking out the appetizers for the reception. I have empty wine bottles coming out my ears that need to be cleaned for the table decorations.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Trying to remember, its all about the love, right? Its about us and our commitment, right? The rest of it doesn't matter...But still, commitment tastes better with cupcakes.

The Registration

2009-08-12T12:37:00.000-06:00

So last night Bonnie and I decided it was time to go and register for our wedding. We had debated on whether or not to do this because we have stuff, we aren't some 20 year old couple starting out for the first time, so really, what's the point right? Well after to speaking to some people and getting their advice, we decided, what the hell, why not, and went and registered.

We went to Bed, Bath and Beyond as this is supposed to be a really good place to go do such a thing according to our "registry coordinator" (we really do not have one of these, just somebody who wants to be ;)). Well let me tell you, BBB is ready for people like us. They have a little desk off to the side of the store where you sit down and filll out a sheet of paper with all of your vitals on it. They have an annoying girl helping you, laughing at everything you say and asking you how you met. A tad annoying, but whatever, we made it through. After doing all of this, they give you this awesome scanner and with this scanner you walk around the store and scan items that you want people to buy you. I really enjoyed this part. "Look a garlic press, we need that", SCANNED! "What's this, a rubber egg poaching thing? Why not?", SCANNED! My excitement lasted for about 40 minutes until we began looking at things I didn't care so much about. Sheets, towels, those little pillows that people put on their beds....you know, girly stuff ;). (Oh, I failed to mention that there were about 4 or 5 other couples doing this as well, all about 20-22 and going over every little thing. "What about this silverware" says woman. "I already have silverware" says man. "But what if it's not what I WANT" says woman. You get the idea.)

So after about an hour or so, we had finished and were feeling pretty good about ourselves. We went to the little wedding area and told the young woman that we had finished and she responds "Are you sure, you only have 44 items" To which we respond, "Uh, is there a minimum we were unaware of?" "Well, says young annoying wedding lady, "I just had a couple register for 408 items." What in the hell I thought. Who needs 408 items? What in the world did they sign up for? "What's this, the kitchen dept.? I'll take it!" How long were they there, half the day? Did they pack a lunch? I couldn't believe it. After assuring the young wedding lady that we actually own stuff and are not still in our parent's basements, she seemed to be okay with everything and let us go. So, we are now registered at Bed Bath and Beyond. Please feel free to visit the store and buy us all the stuff we have asked for!

Quaker Ceremony?

2009-08-12T11:42:00.000-06:00

So I got all fired up and wrote out a ceremony outline about a month ago. I was really inspired by several couples that had written their whole ceremony from start to finish and knew we could do that too. Also, since we aren't having a religious leader or a judge marry us, I figured the better planned out it was, the better it would be for our officiant (who has never actually done this before and is most likely regretting the drunken offer she made to me one night).

Our outline includes several elements we thought important: a poem to be read by BCH's good friend Michelle, another poem of sorts to be read by my son Nathan (hopefully...); our own vows written by us for each other; a couple other cool things like explanation of why we are getting married in the middle of nowhere and why wedding rings are worn on the third finger. But I am having one of those moments and thinking about scrapping most of the script right now.

Why? Because I have become fascinated with the idea of having a Quaker wedding. Or having elements of it at least in mine. Has anyone been to a Quaker wedding? Essentially, the officiant is more of an MC (which I was already kinda heading that way with my script and trying to save her from having to talk too much), the bride and groom share vows and commitments with one another, and then basically it is opened up to the audience to share whatever they like. Seems most anything goes - from advice on marriage, stories about the couple, inspiration and encouraging words. I love the idea, but I am on the fence as to if this is the right thing for our ceremony. I am worried about not getting the audience participation that is needed for this format, and with only about 30 guests, it could be possible.

I need some feedback! Advice? Opinions? Experience?

cheap pants!

2009-07-28T14:10:00.000-06:00

So as we progress closer to the big day, I am slowly getting my "groom outfit" together. Slowly, being the operative word. This past weekend, I had not a bought a single thing to wear for the wedding. Bonnie already had her dress, which is amazing looking, so I needed to get on it. I tend to procrastinate things. So as we were out and about looking at ribbon and fabric and cake stands at our local ribbon, fabric and cake stand stores what did my eyes behold?? Only the best damn store in the world if you want awesome stuff for low prices....Ross Dress for Less! I love that place. I have bought knives and pillows and spices and t-shirts there....it's the best thing about America! We made our way into Ross Dress for Less and I knew that I would find something great. I wandered over to the aisle where men's slacks are kept and BAM!, a beautiful pair of Brown slacks in just my size. I had been searching for brown pants (well on the internet at least) and hadn't found a thing. I knew Ross Dress for Less wouldn't let me down. I tried them on....fit perfectly! Now, here comes the best part. The pants, normally $80, were being sold for $20. Oh my! Ross Dress for Less once again comes through! The day turned out to be quite fruitful as we were able to get a lot accomplished for the wedding/reception (despite not finding a cake stand!), yay for cheap pants! Oh, and no, I normally am not this excited about pants....but these pants are not just normal pants, they are special pants because they are the ones that I will be wearing when I marry the best girl in the world!

This is The Place

2009-07-28T10:54:00.001-06:00

We got a letter in the mail yesterday from the United States Department of the Interior, Bureau of Land Management. When I first saw the envelope I wondered "WTF?" then realized it was from the BLM office in Moab, Utah. Inside was this letter that I am quite excited to have. I know the picture is totally fuzzy and I in no way expect you to be able to read it (but go ahead and try if you must).

It is giving us permission to have our wedding on BLM land, at the location we chose, on the day and time we asked for. Also enclosed was a topo map showing the spot we are approved for. Its funny, when we first thought about getting married "in the middle of nowhere" we figured, hey since its the middle of nowhere, who is going to care, right? But BCH, with that little edge of anxiety he has that can work to his advantage, figured he should call the BLM and ask if there was anything we needed to do.

A couple phone calls followed by some emails, we now have Government approval to hold our ceremony in one of the most scenic places in the world (I might be a little biased, who knows?). And guess how much the rental fee is for our wedding location? Nothing (other than being a law abiding tax paying citizen my whole life - finally - I get something for free from the Government!)

I'm very excited about this, it makes me tempted to post some pictures of "the spot". But we decided to keep it a secret (not that anyone is really going to be crushed about or anything) until our wedding day so our guests will see it upon arrival instead of on the internet first. I can't wait!

"there is nothing more important than your wedding day..."

2009-07-24T15:20:00.000-06:00

I was looking at a higher end photography site today. They specialize in Weddings and Family portraits. They have some very beautiful pictures on the site and it is obvious that they are complete professionals at what they do. I began to read the wedding section and it talks about how your Wedding photos are an Investment (yes, it needs to be capitalized) and goes on to say that "There is nothing more important than your wedding day." Nothing? Really? Wow.

Now don't get me wrong, I am very excited about my wedding day. It will be a very special day to me. We are putting a lot of planning and thought into it so that it will be a great day for both of us as well as our family and friends. But I am troubled with the statement that nothing is more important. I have had a lot of important days in my life - the birth of my sons, graduations, falling in love - and honestly I plan on having many more. I hope my wedding day does not remain the most important day of my life, because I plan on having a lot more of them!

This is where the Wedding Industry Complex works its psychological magic. You must believe that it is the single most important event that has ever occurred in your life (and will always be) so that you accept paying in the thousands for a photographer and more for a dress than you make in one month. So that you believe you have to have the coolest trend in favors to hand out to your guests or they wont enjoy themselves; you wont be quite happy enough if you dont have the right kind of flower or enough bridesmaids. You insist you need to have that little heart shaped silk pillow to tie your ring to so your cute little niece in her flouncy overpriced dress can carry it down the aisle for you. You not only get the "his" and "hers" champagne flutes for the dinner toast but splurge to have them engraved with the date and year of your wedding, because there is nothing more important than your wedding day.

I know I come off a little bitter, and yeah, I guess I am. But I'm not bitter towards the girls who choose to have all these things at their wedding; that is their choice. I am bitter at how consumerism drives the way we plan things in our life. Things that are important and special days can only be shown that they are just that by putting as much money as possible towards it. If you choose to get married in your backyard in a dress you ordered off the internet while serving food you purchased at Costco, does that mean your day will be less important or less special than the wedding at the reception center down the street?

I would like to think that my wedding day will be one of the important days of my life, but not because of what I spent on it. It will be that because of all the heart and soul we have been putting into planning it. It will be that because we will be able to share it with those who are closest to us. It will be that because it will be a reflection of who we are, and what is important to us. It will be that because it will be us.

Baldy Blogs

2009-07-15T17:53:00.000-06:00

So this is the other half of Team Brannie. I have never written a blog before. Quite frankly I have never thought that I had anything to say that was important enough to put on a blog or the internet (I really only know about beer and Metal, the music, not the stuff that cars and buildings are made out of). But I thought what the hell and decided that I would write something on this. As we prepare for the wedding and reception and all that goes along with it, I am constantly reminded at how lucky I am to have met Bonnie and that life can be so random and present us with such neat experiences (that's for you sweetie!). The fact that we went to the same beerfest....in Idaho Falls no less (I know, its not like we met in Paris, but still that isn't around the corner either). That amongst all those people, we ran into each other (I think it was my rugged, manly, bald headed looks) and later that evening talked and got to know each other and then it grew and grew and grew until BAM, we are getting married! Pretty cool. Anyway, I didn't want to get all syrupy, just wanted to say that life sure can be funny sometimes...okay, not too bad for my first time (I don't want to promise more writings, but hey, you never know)

My wedding dress

2009-07-15T17:40:00.000-06:00

I got my wedding dress yesterday!

It was this big debacle cause I tried to order it online through the store but they said it wasn't available ("what does that mean?" I say. "It means its not available" the catalog girl responds). I was bummed. So then I looked at many more dresses online, but I just kept going back to this one that "wasn't available". On a whim I placed an order for it online myself (that girl isn't needed me thinks), and it went through! They charged my card, it was to be shipped to the local store in three days, I was happy. One more thing off my list. Right?

The day before it was to be at the store, my MasterCard was refunded the price of the dress. I freaked. I called the catalog place and spoke with a very helpful man who told me the dress was thought to have been at one warehouse but when they went to pull it, no dress. So then supposedly it was coming from another, further location and would arrive the following week. Wasn't really holding my breath on that, so I was actually surprised when I got a message yesterday that my dress had arrived and was ready for pick up. Yay!

Ordering clothing online is always a bit risky and I was worried it wouldn't fit. I was toggling between two sizes and decided to get the smaller size cause, well, I'm a girl and girls like to hope they are smaller than they are. Also, another fabulous girl trick is to buy something a tad too small then use that as encouragement to lose weight to fit into it. (That trick never actually works for me, but maybe it does for someone...). I know you are dying to know: I was able to squeeze myself into it without looking too garish and still being able to breathe. Yes!

I know this is kind of a boring longish blog without any supporting pictures for those with ADD and way too many mundane details, so here is the summary:

---> I got my wedding dress
---> It fits me. Mostly
---> I stayed within my price goal (under 150-)
---> Yes, I will continue to write blogs that mainly talk about my upcoming wedding, so plan accordingly

Yet another blog site for me

2009-07-11T12:27:00.000-06:00

So, I did have another blog but it seems every person I know that blogs is here, so I migrated. I have been itching to blog lately as I have been reading a lot of personal blogs about weddings and whatnot, so it makes me want to share my own personal planning-a-wedding experience. Thats one of the intentions of this blog. I also thought it was a good time start a "family" blog of sorts - with Brandon joining our little family I want us to be able to share that with everyone. Who knows, he may even want to write something. yeah...

Jill dubbed our celebrity mash-up name "Brannie". I think she was trying to tease us, but I kinda like it. Hence the title of this blog spot.

I have become one of those kind of girls...

2009-07-11T12:01:00.000-06:00

So, I'm getting married. And in this whole wedding planning process, I have become this person that I didn't think I would ever be. I wanted it to be simple, I wanted it to be small, I wanted it to be easy. I realize now that there is nothing simple with a wedding. Nor is there easy. Small - its still possible and it will be quite small - with about 30 people at the ceremony and hopefully not over 100 at the reception week after.

I have realized lately that by 'simple', I really meant affordable. I don't have a lot of money and I don't want to depend on the folks for much. Its a second marriage for me and I am in my thirties; I feel that means its my wedding to plan and pay for, and I am okay with that. It gives me creative control that I have discovered I very much want.

It has also turned me into one of those women that carries around a folder with a bunch of stuff in it. I remember when my youngest brother got married and his future bride pulled out this HUGE binder with fabric swatches, announcement samples and the like in it. I thought she was a bit crazy at the time. Now, I totally get it.

You need to be organized for everything to go well. You need to plan EVERYTHING. We are planning things I never even thought about, like the exact wording my officiant is going to say, what my guest sign in book is going to look like (I even had a dream about it), and what wine we are going to drink at the reception (which has been fun to do because we have been sampling bottles).

With planning everything (and having much more of DIY wedding than I thought I would) there is a certain freedom about it. we have control over everything - and its empowering. This is our wedding, not our parents, not my kids', and I know that some people will think some of our choice are odd (such as dragging everyone down a dirt road to get married or having the reception at a brewery) but they are OUR choices. And that feels amazing!